Question Time LiveBlog 29th September 2011

On the Question Time panel from the Labour conference in Liverpool tonight we have Grant Shapps, housing minister; Tim Farron, president of the Liberal Democrats; Caroline Flint, shadow communities and local government secretary; toothy freak Janet Street-Porter; and columnist and commentator Peter Oborne.

TheEye is unable to join you this evening So leaves you in the splendid hands of the Two Davids...Vance and Mosque. Play nicely!

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What Do They Know

According to 'new research', a tipple of red wine makes no positive difference to high blood pressure ... rejecting previous 'expert' advice that red wine has the ability to fight heart problems, lower cholesterol and the risk of diabetes. 

Researcher Ilse Botden said: "Our findings do not support the idea that red wine polyphenols can account for the suggested cardiovascular benefits. Drinking two or three glasses each day has no effect on lowering mild high blood pressure."

Ah, well, that's where you're going wrong Mr Researcher. Not enough research. Both myself and The Eye can testify, after rigorous, prolonged and selfless studies 'in the field', that it's two or three bottles a day that helps the polyphenols get to work on reducing the blood pressure.

So, what nationality is that Botden bod?

Well, it would appear that he is Dutch. That explains it then, What the hell does someone running around in clogs, growing tulips all day, know about the benefits of red wine.

I reckon it's just a case of sour grapes ... if you ask me.

Anyway, I'm off to do a little more research ....

... anyone care to join me?

Cheers!

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Question Time LiveBlog 22nd September April 2011

On the Question Time panel tonight we have the increasingly senile Vince Cable, Priti Patel, Harriet Harman, Private Eye editor Ian Hislop and Justine Roberts from Mumsnet (married to Ian Katz, deputy editor of The Guardian).

TheEye is unable to join you this evening So leaves you in the splendid hands of the Two Davids...Vance and Mosque. Play nicely!

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1st of April

It is April Fools' Day. It must be. There is no other possibity.

A mediocre footballer caled Joey Barton is offering the government advice (via the Deputy Prime Minister Nicky Boy Clegg) on how to run the country.

Yes, that's Joey 'Not Quite Good Enough' footballer Barton. From a team called Queens Park Rangers which is currently winning...meh.

Not content with being a midfield general, art collector and Twitter's answer to Nietzsche, the Scouser is now keen to give some advice to the coalition government.


Rangers spent Friday night in the Midlands ahead of today's clash with Wolves and shared a hotel with a number of Lib Dems attending their party conference in Birmingham. And once he realised, Barton was his usual helpful self.

'Just found out Lib Dems staying at are hotel tonight, if @vincecable and nick clegg need advice, ill be in lobby between 7-9pm,' he tweeted.

It is not clear exactly which policy areas Barton could advise on, but as he has just signed a £4million-a-year contract with QPR, the deputy prime minister and business secretary may want a word with the former Newcastle United star about fat cat salaries.
Perhaps wisely, Mr Clegg decided against taking the midfielder up on his offer.

'Was talking to a few Lib Dems in lobby before, unfortunately not Cleggy. Surprising jovial about my tweeting. #theyarestartingtolisten,' Barton revealed on Saturday morning.

Clegg and his minority Liberal party (under 10% in most polls) from the speeches at their held-in-a-shoebox conference today - don't understand what the word "coalition" means...so perhaps Joey Barton is their next best hope. They might currently be popping up a minority Conservative administration but they have a massively inflated view of their own importance. And no awareness of how disposable they are.

The 'Liberals' are a bunch of principle-free and power-crazed muppets; so one more moron funded dropped-on-his-head kid football playing supporter is pretty much par for the course for where the Lib Dems are now.

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Missed Opportunity

Treehuggers in the north of England are poised to grab the world record for the largest group tree hug.

On Sunday 821 volunteers travelled to the Delamere forest in Cheshire to take part in the record attempt, and 707 people managed to simultaneously hug a tree for one minute or more.

*sigh*

Some advance notice please, next time?

Plus convenient parking for an IRA-surplus van filled with fertilizer.

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EU Chaos: An Expert Speaks

At last, someone prepared to speak out about the EU meltdown and the Eurozone crisis. A brave soul, a voice in the wilderness, a visionary, a prophet...for it is he...


“I believe that Europe overall, as a unit, is going towards a massive crisis, which nobody really expects now. I am convinced that Europe will go into a huge financial crisis within the next three weeks or three months and maybe that will put everything into perspective again.”


Arsene Wenger
Manager of Arsenal Football Club
...in the Guardian

Yes, we really are doomed.

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Ever Been Caught Short In Cardiff?

I was tempted to call this post 'Stop Taking The P*ss' but it's a family blog, and I'm a visitor, so I won't. Whichever way you look at it though, it definitely slips into the deepest waters of the 'you couldn't make it up' lake. Without a life belt.

 Organisers of the Cardiff 10k race have had to apologise after leaving the 2,403 runners high and dry whilst they were completing the course, which took place last Sunday. Someone had failed to provide a water station at the halfway stage and so the runners had to finish the race without fluids.

One of the competitors and the unofficial 'state the bleedin' obvious' spokesman for the event said, "It's really important because it helps you cool down". You don't say. Which then left the event organisers desperately trying to open the sluice gates and divert the flood of blame in any direction but theirs by stating, "The race was let down by the suppliers of the water". Oh, well that's alright then. Nothing to see wee here. Move along.

Sheesh!

"Who were the organisers?", I can hear you all asking. Well, I left the best bit until last. Obviously. Why, it was none other than the ... wait for it ... Kidney Wales Foundation. No. I can assure you that I'm not taking the p*ss. Perhaps they were just trying to drum up a bit of extra business? Either way, as I said, you couldn't make it up.

Incidentally, Cardiff seem to be rapidly gaining a history for this kind of 'getting caught short' business. Last year, the organisers of the Cardiff Half Marathon were forced to apologise after it was discovered the course was 211 yards too short after a last-minute change of route!

I wonder if they had to take a short cut to pick up some water?

Just wondering.

Max ;-)

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9/11 Remembered

click image to enlarge

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Gibraltar National Day!

Today is National Day in TheEye's home of Gibraltar.

Every year on the 10th of September Gibraltar celebrates the 1967 referendum when, with a massive majority, the people voted to reject annexation by Spain. The result itself was 12,138 votes to 44 in a truly North Korean 99% rout for the enemy within. Franco wasn't pleased about the whole thing and in a hissy fit he closed the border for 16 years....which had the advantage of keeping thousands of dirty Spaniards out of the place for a while.

The day is a public holiday (with the Bank Holiday being next Monday), and most Gibraltarians get involved by wearing the national colours of red and white; and celebrate at street parties, barbeques and concerts. There is a political rally in one of the two main squares in the morning followed by a civic rally in the other one. This will end with the release of 30,000 red and white balloons representing the number of people of Gibraltar.

Political statements about the day have already been issued by the three Party leaders: the statesman, the fat whining one and the other one you always forget. So the speeches on the day can be safely ignored and it will only be the new Mayor Julio Alcantara who is likely to have anything original to say. And even then, not so much. It's not that sort of occasion.

Most importantly calentita will be eaten, beer and wine will be drunk, and TheEye will forget his trials and problems of the last month or so to celebrate properly.

And above all we will celebrate the fact that the flag of Spain will never fly over Gibraltar.

Happy National Day 2011

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Question Time LiveBlog 8th September 2011: 9/11 Special!

Question Time tonight is a 9/11 Special.

On the panel in London we have Secretary of State for Defence Liam Fox, failed Labour leadership contender David Miliband and US Assistant Sec of Defense Richard Perle

In the cheap seats we have a 'playwright' by the name of Bonnie Langford Greer, lefty race-agitator Tariq Ali and Christina Schmidt who lost her husband serving as a bomb disposal officer in Afghanistan.

TheEye is unable to join you this evening and leaves you in the splendid hands of the Two Davids...Vance and Mosque. Play nicely!

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Wootton Bassett's Final Tribute

The final ceremony at Wootton Bassett to mark the end of repatriations through the town.

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A UKIP Mayor Of London?

The Conservatives tried a couple of Open Primaries to select candidates at the last election and were landed with the ban-it-all barking nutter Sarah Wollaston as an MP for the trouble.

UKIP are trying something along the same lines for their choice of candidate for the Mayor of London.

We have six top-notch candidates vying to be the Party’s candidate in the London Mayor elections on May 3, 2012.

They are David Coburn, Michael Corby, Michael McGough, Paul Oakley, Winston McKenzie and Lawrence Webb.

And while the members of UKIP London will have a major say in which of those six candidates is selected, we thought it would be a good idea to open up the selection process to the millions of people who live, work, own property in and visit London every single day.

That means your votes count. The results of the online public primary will be used to rank our candidates, and earn them different levels of ‘bonus votes’ towards the final result.

Of these, Winston McKenzie is by far the most fun. He has been a member of 6 parties. Among that number he founded and led the Unity Party, and has stood for the leadership of UKIP and Veritas.

He tried to be selected as a Mayoral candidate for the Conservatives in 2008 but eventually stood as an Independent candidate under the slogan "I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee; I've got the policies they can't see"

His campaigning skills have also been honed by a series of spectacularly unsuccessful council and Westminster by-election campaigns. Anyone who hates the modern trend of career politicians who have never done a "real" job in the "real" world will like the idea of voting for someone who has been a boxer, a publican, a hairdresser, a rug wholesaler, a letting agent and a garage mechanic (although not all at the same time.)

The problem is that TheEye would like to see UKIP do well, so can't really risk starting a Vote Winston McKenzie campaign. But it would have been fun.

So instead - vote for someone else here.

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