All Seeing Eye: August 2009

Monday, August 31, 2009

Palin Back On The Stage

Sarah Palin will be jetting to Hong Kong to talk finance:

The former Alaska governor will visit Hong Kong to address the CLSA Investors Forum, a well-known annual conference of global investment managers, the host announced Monday.

Bill Clinton, Al Gore and Alan Greenspan have spoken at the event, hosted by brokerage and investment group CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets.

"Our keynote speakers are notable luminaries who often address topics that go beyond traditional finance such as geopolitics," company spokeswoman Simone Wheeler said in a statement.

"We just felt it would be a fabulous opportunity for CLSA clients to hear from Mrs. Palin," Wheeler said, adding that CLSA approached Palin with the offer.

She said the conference aimed to present investors "a diversity of views that potentially influence decision-makers who help shape the markets."

Her first speaking engagement (of many) post Alaska-governorship will be important and international. Her thoughts will be eagerly anticipated. The 2012 Presidential Race is already looking interesting. Historians will note that no Vice-President has ever challenged their boss in the primaries so the Obamessiah is guaranteed a free run unless his poll figures tank remarkably. Speeches like tthis are important because with strong candidates like Jon Huntsman dropping by the wayside and taking the Obama shilling, the focus for the GOP is already shifting to Palin, Romney and Pawlenty amongst others to make the early running. Palin already has the advantage with her successful campaign against the Obamacare "death panels" so it's all to play for.

Let the gnashing of teeth begin.

What Is Art?

Everyone has a different view on what constitutes "art". That's a bit of luck, as the alternative would be a world entirely decorated in Athena student digs posters of the tennis player scratching her backside, or a planet engulfed in Prince of Wales style watercolours.

The one thing uniting us all is that we all believe that we know what isn't art. You know, unmade beds, lightbulbs going on and off, pickled sharks and basically all of the crap which is put in The Tate Modern. TheEye does not believe that faking your own suicide is art.

"Art student Anna Odell has been fined by Stockholm District Court after acting out a faked suicide attempt as part of an art project. says Swedish newspaper TheLocal

Odell was found guilty of violent resistance and fraudulent practice and was ordered to pay a fine of 25,000 kronor ($3,500).

Odell had denied the charges of false alarm, violent resistance and fraudulent practice, date back to January 21st 2009 when she was detained by police on Stockholm's Liljeholmen bridge following what at first appeared to be an attempt to commit suicide. She was then taken to the psychiatric ward at St. Göran's Hospital for treatment, only to reveal the following day that the whole episode had been faked as a part of her final art exam at University College of Arts, Crafts and Design (Konstfack).

Odell, who has a history of mental illness, explained that she was highlighting deficiencies in Sweden's psychiatric care which she has argued to be "the most dictatorial part of society we have" where "patients are sometimes not believed".

While her actions have drawn criticism from police and medical staff, the opening of the exhibition of her work at the college in May generated a great deal of interest in the art world and wider media."

Only fined? And so little? She's either a certified howling-at-the-moon fruitcake or a publicity seeking danger to herself and others. Either way it's a throw-away-key job until a doctor signs her off as being safe to be on the streets.

Not safe for herself, please understand, but safe for any innocent person who might come into contact with her during her next stunt. If you see her on a ledge, offer to give her a push and see if she means it. A student of irony would then push her anyway and claim at trial that it was an extended art project.

Leading The Way

You'd hardly put Romania in the "leading the way" department unless 'inventing vampires' was a subcategory. However, Romanian government ministers across the board have taken a 20% pay cut as a gesture towards sorting out their economic mess.

For those who dimiss such moves as tokens, consider this: in an era of perceived snouts-in-the-trough it shows politicians as being in touch. Which of course is why it hasn't crossed McDoom's mind. Neither has trimming the number of ministers or MP's, because of course that would reduce the power of patronage. All three are Tory policy, although lets wait and see if they happen.

This article from the Romanian Times - consider not only the high percentage of the cut but the extremely low wage level that it must start from. How much should you pay a Prime Minister? Well Emil Boc is on about 17,000 euro a year:

"Romanian ministers will take a 20-per-cent pay cut by year's end to to cut national expenditures.

Overall savings will amount to 22.600 Euros or 95,000 lei monthly, according to government spokeswoman Ioana Muntean.

The prime minister and deputy prime minister will each have a cut of some 285 Euros or 1,200 lei monthly, while ministers will give up some 260 Euros or 1,100 lei.

The secretary general of the government and the head of the Department for European Affairs, both of whom have the rank of minister, will also suffer the same pay-cut."

Pay attention, Westminster.

One Way Laws

Further signs of a slippery slope in Ireland, where a proposed new law could do all sorts of fun things (in a bad way) to the Irish courts system. The lawyers are going to have a field day.

We read that:

"The Irish government plans to bring into force a new law in October that critics say is a return to medieval justice. The legislation, aimed at providing judges with clear direction on the 1937 Constitution's blasphemy prohibition, imposes a fine of up to 25,000 euros - about $39,000 - for anyone who "publishes or utters matter that is (intentionally meant to be) grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion."

Police with a search warrant will be able to enter private premises and use "reasonable force" to obtain incriminating evidence.

The initiative has stunned some Irish and international commentators who say it contradicts Ireland's recent emergence as a more multicultural, tech-savvy country that has in recent years showed its independence from the Roman Catholic church by liberalizing its divorce law

It's clear from the way the law is worded that it's Muslims, not Catholics who are being placated. And of course the law is skewed towards "intent" rather than actual offence. Does the picture illustrating this post "offend". Doesn't matter under this law. Does it "intend to offend"? If the police think so then they will be allowed to kick the door in. And if under EU law a crime in one country an be enforced in another (c.f. David Irving in Austria) then anyone in the EU is on interesting legal ground So bite me.

"Islam Is Of The Devil"?

A group of Florida students have been sent home after wearing "Islam is of the Devil" t-shirts. This apparently isn't good. Understandable though it is that Muslims might get rather narked by somebody expressing this point of view, anyone who has read the Swords verses in the Koran is going to walk away expecting to be slaughtered at any moment so the knife cuts both ways (pun intended).

We read that:

"A handful of students were sent home from Florida schools this week after showing up in shirts proclaiming that "Islam is of the Devil," part of a fiery church campaign to "expose" Islam as a religion of violence.

Three high schoolers were forced to leave Tuesday for wearing the shirts made by the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fla., where school officials say violated the district's dress codes. A middle schooler was also asked to change clothes because of the shirt, which got a 10-year-old fifth grader sent packing on Monday, when the incidents began.

"Students have a right of free speech, and we have allowed students to come to school wearing clothes with messages," school district staff attorney told the Gainesville Sun. "But this message is a divisive message that is likely to offend students. Principals, I feel reasonably, have deemed that a violation of the dress code."

So messages must not be "divisive"? And must not offend? Can't find those bits in the 1st Amendment. And Muslims can call America "The Great Satan", of course.

Question: if a Muslim turned up wore a t-shirt to school quoting Swords: "fight and slay the pagan (idolaters) wherever you find them" (sura 9:5); or "strike off their heads in battle" (sura 47:5); or "make war on the unbeliever in Allah, until they pay tribute" (sura 9:29); or "Fight then... until the religion be all of it Allah's" (sura 8:39); or "a grievous penalty against those who reject faith" (sura 9:3) then would they have been sent home?

Not bloody likely.

Climate Change Trial Gathers Pace

On the other side of the Pond, the US Chamber of Commerce has the Sierra Club running scared with their Climate Trial idea (blogged about here previously). The Sierra Club now has a petition calling for companies to resign their memberships in the Chamber if they do not drop the idea of holding an open and formal debate. This is the letter that will be sent (well, emailed, probably) to Chamber members as with the names of people who fill out the petition

Tell the US Chamber of Commerce To Stop Denying Global Warming

To US Chamber of Commerce Member Companies,

The US Chamber of Commerce is threatening to sue the EPA for accepting the overwhelming scientific evidence that climate change is real in an effort to put "the science of climate change on trial."

The trial is over, case closed. I urge you, as a responsible member of the Chamber of Commerce, to demand that the Chamber drop this desperate tactic to protect polluting energy companies, publicly recognize that climate change is real and acknowledge that action needs to be taken.

Please tell the U.S. Chamber they need to speak for the majority of its members who support action on global warming, or your company will resign its membership.

You know the left is scared when they start with these dictatorial campaigns designed to shut down debate and silence dissenting voices.

In related news, the OC Register is taking the official position that the EPA should hold hearings, as called for by the Chamber of Commerce, and hear all the arguments for and against the notion of anthropogenic global warming. If the EPA won't, the OC Register approves of climate trials. They are also in favour of a massive discourse on the economy numbing legislation, both the national and the California versions. They are not thrilled, either, with what the EPA will soon do, namely, declare CO2 a dangerous pollutant, which could will lead to massive new, and costly, regulations in the US.

Governor Gary Herbert, a Republican from Utah, is going to host the "first legitimate debate into whether humans are causing "climate change." Expect vicious things to be said about him, many, most likely, revolving around his religion, similar to what happened with Mitt Romney.

Meanwhile:

What happens when demand exceeds supply? Prices go way up. Welcome to the world of the hybrid.
Industry is getting the better of the AGW supporters, says The Washington Post.
The Goracle is being challenged over the accuracy of climate models. $20,000 is on the line.

And, to rap it up, a sad, sad story. What, exactly, is the point of watching women's volleyball when the summer weather is abnormally cool and the women aren't wearing those skimpy bikinis? This story has depressing photos of beach volleyball players shivering under several layers of clothing, and The Big Dollop needn't waste a click on it.
If that is global warming then you can keep it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

BBC Chief Says Public Are Retarded

That's it, yes, you. Thicky. Jana Bennett, director of BBC Vision*, said that members of the public (that's you again, keep up you idiot) won't understand why the salaries of our highest paid "stars" are so high. The issue is too complex for you to comprehend or usefully contribute to the debate about the pay of entertainers.

Speaking as part of a panel on presenters’ fees at the Edinburgh International Television Festival, Mrs Bennett said that BBC staff deserved to be treated differently from workers in other areas of the public sector.

She said: “The BBC is in a market; in the broader sense it’s part of the creative industries. It performs a fundamentally different role than that performed by, for example, policemen or teachers. It is a category error to suggest that the public would actually be able to contribute to working out what we do about it. It’s like me talking about Tom Cruise’s movie deals. I’m not of that sector.”

Ed Vaizey, the Shadow Culture Secretary, said that if a politician made similar comments there would be outrage. “A politician caught on camera saying the public don’t understand why we need to be paid £120,000 gets a front page and outrage. What Jana is saying is that the public don’t have the right to know talent and executives’ pay at the BBC because they wouldn’t understand why they’re paid that money,” he said. “ I think you’d find the public is far more sophisticated than your remarks suggest.”

The Tories have stated that they would force the corporation to publish the pay of their top stars, because they are paid out of the public purse. Again, that's us, thickies. Well, actually it's you thickies as TheEye doesn't pay the telly tax. So next time you see Jonathan Ross on tv, just remember that he's on about £6m a year and you are paying for it.

Doubles all round!

*Their sunglasses and contact lenses department.

Another Hope In EU Constitution Fight

The history of democracy in Europe is a mixed bag. In Great Britain we have been (broadly) free for a thousand years (give or take a few decades, and the bit since 1997). Other countries have been free for about as long as it takes to soft-boil an egg. And still we look to places like Ireland to save us from throwing it all away with the EU Constitution.

Barking Spider had a good post about the upcoming referendum in Ireland the other day but as of yesterday another ray of hope came from the land of Hamlet (no, not the cigars).

The Eastern High Court in Denmark heard arguments yesterday on whether a case brought by 38 Danes against the prime and foreign ministers for failing to send the EU’s Lisbon Treaty to referendum has any legal merit. The petitioners claim that the Lisbon Treaty should have been sent to referendum under paragraph 20 of the Danish Constitution as they claim the treaty is a constitution in disguise and represents a devolution of sovereignty. Junior Counsel to the Treasury Peter Biering, who represents the two ministers, has obviously chosen to contest the relevance of the case, and legal counsel to the government has maintained that the Treaty did not require a referendum.

Given the decision by both parties to appeal the court’s decision on relevance, a court case is unlikely to be heard in the Eastern High Court on the core issue of the case until 2011 – provided that an eventual appeal in the Supreme Court finds the case to be relevant.

Paragraph 20 of the Danish Constitution reads as follows:
(1) Powers vested in the authorities of the Realm under this Constitutional Act may, to such extent as shall be provided by statute, be delegated to international authorities set up by mutual agreement with other states for the promotion of international rules of law and cooperation.

(2) For the enactment of a Bill dealing with the above, a majority of five-sixths of the members of the Folketing shall be required. If this majority is not obtained, whereas the majority required for the passing of ordinary Bills is obtained, and if the Government maintains it, the Bill shall be submitted to the electorate for approval or rejection in accordance with the rules for referenda laid down in section 42.

Should this give us hope? Well, yes and no. Courts don't like this sort of thing so all over the world they have a habit of staying out of Consitutional affairs (except when Democrats appoint liberal activist judges in the US) so the ruling will probably go against them. The plus point is that it keeps the matter open. The Conservatives have made quite clear that if the Constitution isn't passed everywhere before they get into power then we'll get our referendum in the UK. If it is passed everywhere and is in force then they say we are stuck with it.

If the Danes keep the ball in play until after the next General Election then we'll see an interesting test of Cameron's promise to put the matter to the people. Are you up to it, Dave?

My Holidays by G Brown (Aged 8)

Typical of our Prime Mentalist to surface for a blatant photo opportunity in the desert. Entertainingly there is a veritable car-park full of vehicles neatly lined up behind him for the occasion. One presumes that they weren't needed anywhere else today and are surplus to requirements.

If anyone dies today because they their patrol was forced to go out on foot to stage this then he is the guilty man.

Whatever Happened To...

..that shoe-throwing bloke?

One in an occasional series about people who have had their 15 minutes of fame and faded from sight to linger only as an annoying tie-break question in the pub quiz.

Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi (there, you remember his name now) was jailed after hurling his shoes at former President George W. Bush on Dec 14th 2008. He will be released next month after his sentence was reduced for good behaviour, his lawyer said Saturday. Defence ~~shark~~ lawyer Karim al-Shujairi said al-Zeidi will now be released on Sept. 14, three months early.

It was Bush's last visit to Iraq as president and turned the 30-year-old reporter into a folk hero across the Arab world amid anger over the 2003 invasion. He was initially sentenced to three years after pleading not guilty to assaulting a foreign leader (is that really a specific crime? What about assaulting a traffic warden? Equal, worse or better?), then the court reduced it to one year because the journalist had no prior criminal history.

The bizarre act of defiance transformed the obscure reporter from a minor TV station into a national hero to many Iraqis fed up with the nearly six-year U.S. presence. It also drew worldwide attention and became a rallying cry throughout the Muslim world for critics who resented the U.S. invasion and occupation.

The incident also embarrassed Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who was standing next to Bush at the time. Bush was forced to duck for cover as the journalist shouted in Arabic: "This is your farewell kiss, you dog! This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."

...so there we go, that's what happened afterwards.

Snakes Alive!

Courtesy of KVOA News we have the odd story of siamese rattlesnakes being seperated by a doctor in a 45 minute operation. Found on a building site in Tucson, Arizona, they are described as being "an anomaly rarely seen in the wild" which is news-speak for saying they die very quickly.

Dr Jim Jarchow wielded the knife at the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum to seperate them "It's my job to improve their quality of life and survive and function as they normally would" which is news-speak for tread on them now and you're screwed, sunshine.

The question this news item leaves us with: why? If you see two rattlesnakes coming towards you on a building site, your initial reaction is going to be something like ohshitohshitohshit someonegetaf'ingspadequick followed by a few lusty shovel blows and a collective sigh of relief. Not "eeew, look at the cute cuddly double-headed killer reptile, let's help it".

Septics, eh? Never understand them...

Whatever Next

Well temporarily stun TheEye with an item of avian plumage. We learn from the BBC that people drink on holiday.

No, contain your shock, horror and righteous indignation. And its phrased in a very negative way too...booze...not alcohol or fine local wines. It's 8 drinks a day, which they multiply by 10 for an 'average' 10 day holiday and then guess at 2.5 "units" per drink giving a nice round total of 200 "units".

More than a quarter said they ended up drinking three times more than normal.

Yes, it's called a holiday for a reason. The clue is in the word.

But 70% of the 3,500 adults questioned by the Department of Health said they plan to make September the "new January" by cutting back.

Ah, the Dept of Health. Right, now we are getting somewhere. A survey with an agenda. And how can you make something a "new January". Is that like New Labour and just a stupid joke on the back of a fag packet? Or does such a thing really exist? Do you get two birthdays a year? Or is, in fact, this just a made-up phrase? In politics the word gaffe only exists in newspapers - nobody ever uses it down the pub. A task for our readers...report back here the next time you hear someone say "new January" down the boozer. Prize for the winner.

Frankly if you've escaped from McDoom and his comrades for a while then you're going to want to get pissed to celebrate...and need to be pissed to go back.

But most people plan to curb their drinking over the next month. One in five surveyed pledged...blah blah blah...

You've just told us that everyone is going on a bender, so it's natural that they will come off that bender when they get back. Simples. It's not everyone on a sudden health kick.

And where have the BBC regurgitated this silly-season non-story press release from? Know Your Limits (a fake charity paid for by you) wrote it for the Dept of Health (paid for by you) to send to the BBC (paid for by...ah, you're seeing a pattern now).

There's a lot more to the article if reading the sanctimonous spweings of self-righteous tossers telling us that we are all doomed because some survey-weasel spoke to ten people heading back from the Costa del Sol who'd found the first English bar showing the football and ordered paella and chips is your thing, but if it isn't then ignore it.

TheEye hates August because for news it is silly season month. If only August could be the New May 2010 because then we'd be having a General Election.

Looking Around The Office...

Friday, August 28, 2009

Global Warming Computer Causes Global Warming

As there is zero evidence that human carbon dioxide emissions have any effect on climate, authoritarian leftists using the global warming hoax as a Trojan horse for totalitarianism have resorted to computer models to prove whatever their ideology requires them to prove regarding the climate of the future. It's a good thing the whole pretend-crisis is a complete farce; otherwise, they would be making it worse:

The Met Office has caused a storm of controversy after it was revealed their £30million supercomputer designed to predict climate change is one of Britain's worst polluters. …

It is capable of 1,000 billion calculations every second to feed data to 400 scientists and uses 1.2 megawatts of energy to run - enough to power more than 1,000 homes.

The machine was hailed as the 'future of weather prediction' with the ability to produce more accurate forecasts and produce climate change modelling.

However the Met Office's HQ has now been named as one of the worst buildings in Britain for pollution - responsible for more than 12,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide a year.

It says 75 per cent of its carbon footprint is produced by the super computer meaning the machine is officially one of the country's least green machines.

The carbon-spewing energy hog does not even predict the weather accurately.

It is the second time the Met Office has been criticised this year - after the machine famously helped predict a "BBQ summer" which turned out to be another wash-out.

Apparently the "garbage in, garbage out" axiom applies to computer models no matter how many calculations are done per second.

Here's an idea that would spare the polar bears from all that harmless carbon and taxpayers from massive waste: why not hire a psychic to do climate change predictions with a ouija board?
Hat/tip: RightWingNews

Award Winning Journalism

Seen over at the unbeatable Croydonian today, this clip from one of the Fox affiliates is so hilariously low budget and, for want of a better word, naff, that it's well worth watching.

For those of you with a geekish slant, 38secs in is a pure C|N>K * moment. Enjoy.

* Coffee piped through nose on to keyboard.

Where Is Jonah?

Hmmm. Jonah McDoom goes missing, just like Macavity, for a month.

Over a month, the FTSE100 rises by 9%

Coincidence?

Baron Gorbals Of Sleaze

It's almost impossible to believe. What to you give the first Speaker of the Commons to be ousted in 300 years?

A peerage.

It's long been a traditional parting honour given to retiring Speakers, but Baron Martin of Springburn, of Port Dundas in the City of Glasgow as we must now learn to call him is a man with no honour. He will continue to be referred to on this blog as Gorbals Mick.

The Telegraph reported a variety of voices in the Upper House as opposing his elevation to the Lords back in May, although later reports indicated that Her Majesty would be ~~required~~ requested to bestow a title.

A poor day for the House of Lords, which has only managed to gain another failure as a member, and a corrupt one at that. Also a poor day for open politics as it slipped out without any fanfare. How many of us are regular readers of the London Gazette, after all?

As for words of congratulation upon this auspicious occasion, TheEye can't summon up more than Sod Off (non-sweary blog!).

Hat Tip: Jonathan Isaby

Romanian Beggars Flood Copenhagen

This is already happening on the streets of the United Kingdom too, but news outlets are unwilling to point the finger at immigrants without being branded as waaaaaaacist, or anti-EU or whatever the evil-prejudice-du-jour is..

The Copenhagen Times runs with what you'd hardly describe as "breaking news" by using a recent poll:

"The number of people begging on the streets of Denmark has risen, according to a new Megafon poll. The poll shows that 70 percent of respondents have been asked for spare change in the last year.

The poll also showed that 58 percent of people believe that the number of beggars has risen in the last five years – a view that is shared by Deputy Chief Superintendent Mogens Lauridsen of the Copenhagen Police.

‘After the expansion of the EU in 2007, we saw a noticeable influx of beggars from Eastern European countries,’ Lauridsen said to Politiken newspaper.

A police spokesman said street begging in Copenhagen had developed a seasonal trend and in summer, it was usually Romanian woman with children doing it."

It's probably due to climate change, or something. Whatever's causing it can't be to do with EU-enforced open borders, surely?

Climate Change On Trial. No Nudes Welcome!

And so it seems that the science isn't 'settled' after all. In the other side of the Pond:

The nation's largest business lobby wants to put the science of global warming on trial.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, trying to ward off potentially sweeping federal emissions regulations, is pushing the Environmental Protection Agency to hold a rare public hearing on the scientific evidence for man-made climate change.

Chamber officials say it would be "the Scopes monkey trial of the 21st century" -- complete with witnesses, cross-examinations and a judge who would rule, essentially, on whether humans are warming the planet to dangerous effect.

Just a guess, but there is no chance that EPA will actually do this, as, most of the climahysterics do not actually want a public debate. Al Gore won't debate anyone and neither will Hansen or any of the other archbishops of the religion.

The EPA is having none of it, calling a hearing a "waste of time" and saying that a threatened lawsuit by the chamber would be "frivolous."

Guess they won't. Shocker. EPA spokeshysteric Brendan Gilfillan says the science is settled, damnitall, so, stop mucking around and boosting opposition to AGW legislation with all that damned science.

In other AGW news:

Plans for a nude camping festival in Wyre have been scrapped - because punters were worried about getting chilly.

Heh. Of course, climahysterics will just say this is weather, or blame the chilly weather on climate change.

It's also getting really cold in the Arctic

"We've never lost a national park before," but global warming could change that. Of course it could. Climahysterics shown in top form in paragraphs 6-9.

12 Facts about Global Climate Change That You Won't Read in the Popular Press

Why the Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets are not collapsing
And read Melissa Kite's amusing column in the Telegraph on the Climate Change Camp (link to follow if one can be found as it was spotted in the dead tree version).

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Not Just Fake Smiles

If you are in Hungary on October 9th and find yourself with time on your hands, why not pop along to the inaugural Miss Plastic Hungary?
A panel of doctors have been called in as the judges for a beauty contest with a difference where all the entrants have to have undergone extensive cosmetic surgery. They have to be between 18 and 30, and have undergone at least one cosmetic procedure that required general or local anesthesia. The Miss Plastic Hungary 2009 pageant is apparently designed to be a showcase of the latest plastic surgery techniques and options available in Hungary.

Many Europeans travel to Hungary to get plastic surgery to save on costs and the cost of a face lift in some parts of Hungary is less than half the price of the same procedure in the United Kingdom so this is very much a commercial event.

The pageant website (only the 'news' section has content so far) reports that in addition to meeting the criteria of having had plastic surgery, the contestant must “show a perfect harmony of their body and soul.” The company behind the contest agrees that this is an unconventional beauty contest, and the event will be blogged about and feature live online. The grand prize winner gets a brand new apartment, as will the plastic surgeon who performed the procedure of the winner.

This seems like one of those heaven-sent opportunities where for once staggering drunkenly up to a girl in a nightclub and asking if they are real actually WON'T get you a slap.

Dead Kennedys: "Too Drunk"

Apologies, just couldn't resist it.

Make-Over For ASE

On a day when nothing much has happened so far....murdering scumbag dies in a comfortable bed rather than screaming for help in a rapidly submerging car, you know, that sort of not much happening...it seemed a good opportunity for the long overdue makeover of All Seeing Eye to finally go live.

As opposed to some of the more radical revamps of some major sites recently (the Weekend Of Biased-BBC still brings TheEye out in a cold sweat) this is only a cosmetic template tweak but it gives the place a more homely feel. We hope that you like it. If you don't then a full refund of your subscription is available upon request (minus an anministration fee).

RIP Mary-Jo Kopechne

...and in other news, the murdering booze-fueled Senator from Massacheusetts has gone in the other direction....to a circle of Hell which Dante would have had to have invented especially for him.

TheEye wishes to make no comment about Kennedy's politics at this time. Even though they were at completely at the opposite end of my spectrum, he was entitled to his crazy delusions as were people entitled to ignore his murderous lying drug-addled terrorist-loving cheating deceiving past and keep voting for him like mindless sheep. It was Kennedy the man who was the stain on humanity. There will be no mourning here.

*sigh* now to prepare for weeks of the BBC crawling up his backside and exploring every crevice as they solemnly tell us that he was a latter-day saint. This is going to get painful. Now where's that remote control gone?

Sometimes the watchword should be that if you have nothing nice to say about someone then say nothing. So, coming soon, posts about just about anything else. And a site redesign.

More as and when. Or if.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It's A Fish!

There is a film where the subject of a psychological evaluation is shown a series of inkblots, the famous Rorschach Test, and asked to say the first thing which came into his mind. For all 10 he replied instantly - breasts.

As there are no right or wrong answers, it's impossible to fault his responses, although you'd steer clear of his adverts in the "Would Like To Meet" column. What, incidentally, do you make of the one in the picture on this post?* The point is that the answers are supposed to be spontaneous, and any consideration of the answers make it pointless. That's why a doctor is under investigation for misconduct after publishing the 10 inkblots on Wikipedia (spoiler warning).

James Heilman told The New York Times he posted the Rorschach test images in an attempt to demystify the psychological profession. At least two psychologists didn't appreciate the gesture and have complained of unprofessional conduct to Heilman's local doctor organization, which says it's looking in to the matter.

Named for inventor and Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach, the test gauges a subject's personality by presenting a series of unclear images and asking him to interpret them. Psychologists have kept the test's inner workings secret for decades out of concern that the inkblots won't be as effective if they've been seen before. Some psychologists worry that detailed descriptions like the one included on Wikipedia could be a cheat sheet of sorts that will allow subjects to rehearse their responses.

Including the images on Wikipedia violates the test's secrecy and if Heilman were a psychologist, it would be "viewed as serious misconduct," one of the complainants, Andrea Kowaz of the College of Psychologists of British Columbia, said. A different psychologist at Royal University Hospital added that Heilman "shows disrespect to his professional colleagues in psychology and disparages them in the eyes of the public."

For his part, Heilman calls the complaints "intimidation tactics" that attempt to stifle scientific discourse. "They don't want anybody other than themselves involved in a discussion about what they do," he told the Times.

*Most people apparently think lobster, caterpillars or similar. If you thought breasts then you are disturbed and should seek alcohol immediately.

Compare The...

There is an article by Peter Jones on the Guardian website complaining that the “compare the meerkat” advert is racist. Apparently his Ukranian girlfriend and a Latvian lodger have difficulty pronouncing the word "market". When they say the word in broken English it comes out sounding like "can you find a husband for my sister so she can get a passport?"

It is typical of the Grauniad to try to find offence in absolutely everything. Now if you want 100% weapons-grade offence, then the G.O.T. should be your abusemonger du jour. No reading between the lines required there.

Nice headline, though: Meerkat forces? Not Good Enough. The funny thing is that all of the comments (certainly all of the heavily recommended ones - got bored after the first couple of pages) can be summed up as "Peter, you're a knob" so it's no wonder he disabled the comment facility prety sharpish.

(Hat-tips galore, Hannibal via Donal, ToryBear via Guido for the story etc etc, G.O.T. for the great picture)

Scottish Monopoly

Monday, August 24, 2009

Miss Universe 2009

Ever keen to post about beautiful ladies for the most tenuous of reasons, we have news that Venezuelan Stefania Fernandez was named Miss Universe 2009, beating out more than 80 other contestants during a pageant held last night (Sunday) in Nassau, Bahamas.

The 18-year-old was crowned by another Venezuelan, Dayana Mendoza, Miss Universe 2008, marking the first time that two contestants from the same country have won the title in consecutive years.

As Miss Universe, Fernandez will have the use of a New York City apartment for the year of her reign, and will receive living expenses. Other prizes include a two-year scholarship at the New York Film Academy; a vacation for two in the Bahamas; and a wardrobe, including evening wear, swimsuits and jewelry.

The competition involves a swimsuit round (woohoo!), evening gown phase (woohoo again!) and an interview, all judged by a 12-member panel. Whether she said that her biggest dream was world peace or that all she wanted as a little girl was a cute llama isn't known yet.

Miss Dominican Republic, Ada Aimee De La Cruz, was named first runner-up and would assume Fernandez's duties if she turns out to be a porno-star crack whore.

What Is The British Government For?

Considering the geographical location of TheEye, it may be easy to dismiss this post as parochial, but it is far from that.

Recently the Spanish government made claim to all of Gibraltar's territorial waters under the pretext of environmental protection. When presented with the fait accompli by the EU, the British Government said the political equivalent of "Ooops, buggerit, didn't see that paragraph" and have now resorted to legal action to challenge legitimately signed EU documents. To this day, Spanish armed fast patrol boats nip in and out of Gib waters, chased off by the Royal Navy, to test our resolve. This was all covered very well on A Tangled Web.

But the British Government have been sitting on their hands and DONE IT AGAIN.
From The Chronicle: Britain has been side-lined from a proposal to change the mandatory reporting system for ships sailing through the Strait of Gibraltar, despite its jurisdiction over Gibraltar and the surrounding waters. The International Maritime Organisation (IMO) gave preliminary approval to the joint initiative by Spain and Morocco and delegates from over 50 countries - including the UK itself - agreed that the changes would help improve navigational safety in this area.

But for British officials there was one important problem with the plan: it was drafted without their input. In effect, Spain and Morocco failed to acknowledge Britain’s voice in maritime issues affecting this region.

Although the focus of the proposal is purely technical, there are underlying political issues at stake. The Gibraltar Government, which had raised concerns with the UK about this proposal, is keeping a close eye on developments at the IMO, the United Nations’ maritime body.

At a meeting last July, British officials told delegates at the IMO’s Subcommittee on Safety of Navigation that Britain should have been consulted while the proposal was being drafted.

They said there had been “no effective cooperation” between the three governments which each had “a common interest” in this area, according to the official record of the meeting. The UK asked Spain and Morocco to withdraw the proposal and draft a revised, “fully collaborative” version with British input.

But Spanish officials countered that the UK had had seven weeks to comment on the proposal prior to the meeting and had not done so, choosing instead to flag its concerns at the final plenary session. They said the subcommittee’s remit was purely technical and that in this respect, the proposal was sound. The subcommittee agreed and approved the scheme as presented by Spain and Morocco, noting the UK’s reservations.

It will now be rubber-stamped at a full meeting of the IMO’s Maritime Safety Committee next year, though changes are possible between now and then. “We hope to have our concerns properly reflected in the text,” one British official told the Chronicle.

"Concerns reflected", eh? How about "huge bloody cock-up fixed", sunshine? So they missed this one as well, and Spain shot at another open goal. What does our Government actually DO, then? What are they for?

We're All Doomed Pt.94

Just when you thought you knew all of the ways that mankind is doomed and how we are all going to burn / freeze / *insert environmental catastrophe here* then along comes another one.

Now we're all going to die of oxygen reduction, and guess who is at fault?

New research shows oxygen depletion in the atmosphere has been accelerating since 2003, coinciding with the biofuels boom.

Yup, Mankind.

The Institute of Science in Society (SiS) which published the research says that climate policies that focus exclusively on carbon sequestration could be disastrous for all oxygen-breathing organisms including humans.

Sadly, action to tackle climate change mitigating policies are almost all aimed at reducing CO2 without considering other climate change factors.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. So, have fun, and leave a good looking corpse.

Dr. Mae-Wan Ho who compiled the research, reports that within the past several years, scientists have found that oxygen (O2) in the atmosphere has been dropping, and at higher rates than just the amount that goes into the increase of CO2 from burning fossil fuels, some 2 to 4-times as much, and accelerating since 2002-2003. Simultaneously, oxygen levels in the world's oceans have also been falling. Although the causes for the sudden acceleration in oxygen depletion are yet unclear, changes to natural ecosystems through deforestation and the expansion of agriculture could be playing a significant role.

So, they have no clue what the causes are, but, hey, why not blame it on Mankind through a leap of logic? But, yeah, about those trees. Oh, and here, too. And here.

Being Ted Kennedy

Senator Edward Kennedy is demonstrating his (seldom doubted) commitment not to end his time on this earth - which has more or less been "dedicated" to "public service" as Senator for Life from the People's Republic of Massachusetts - without demonstrating, sadly with seem to be literally his last breaths, the full scope of the legacy he both inherited and built upon so magnificently: The Kennedy legacy of naked political cynicism, a literally life-and-death dedication to the maintenance of power, all leveraged cannily with a huge dollop of manipulating tragedy. Jeff Jacoby explains:

Kennedy wants the Legislature to upend the succession law it passed in 2004, when - at his urging - it stripped away the governor's longstanding power to temporarily fill a Senate vacancy. Back then, John Kerry was a presidential candidate and Republican Mitt Romney was governor; Kennedy lobbied state Democrats to change the law so that Romney couldn't name Kerry's successor.

They followed his advice with gusto. When the final vote took place, the Boston Globe reported, "hooting and hollering broke out on the usually staid House floor,'' and House Speaker Thomas Finneran acknowledged candidly: "It's a political deal. It's very raw politics.''

It still is. Now that Massachusetts has a Democratic governor, Kennedy is lobbying to restore the gubernatorial power to name an interim appointee. That would guarantee Democrats in Washington two reliable Senate votes from Massachusetts, even if Kennedy isn't there to cast one of them.

It's not merely that Kennedy considers the Democratic Party the only legitimate representative of the people of the banana commonwealth he represents in Washington. Jacoby doesn't say it, but I assume that Teddy assumes that his seat is a guaranteed Kennedy inheritance forever. He plainly never merited his first election to the United States Senate and would, given his mixed bag of fairly dubious achievements to that point, not even have been on the most generous short list of prospective candidates but for the ceremonial handing over of his brother John Fitzgerald's old job to his mediocre, even more unethical younger brother by an electorate that has consistently demonstrated just how distressing democracy can be. Thus Kennedy's assumption, and it is a reasonable one, is that any number of people possessing the hallowed Kennedy name will and should be given the opportunity never to have to do an honest day's work or be accountable in their lives again, as long as things like the law are conveniently adjusted to achieve that end.

The Senator for Life (not to be confused with a "pro-life Senator") is unlikely to be disappointed, and with God's help he will live to see his expectation of hereditary succession assured. Surely the People will do their theological duty and see to it that there is a Raul for Massachusetts, too. Mary-Jo Kopechne was unavailable for comment.

Old Commies Don't Die...

...they just appear on state-run television.

From Reuters: Former leader Fidel Castro appeared on Sunday on Cuban television for the first time since June of last year in a video of him chatting with students from Venezuela.

Castro, 83, appeared to be in good condition as he spoke with the students about the state of the world in a meeting that took place on Saturday in Havana, according to the television report.

Saved from his own socialised health system by Spanis doctors, at 83 he's proof of the old saying "those whom the Gods love, die young".

The BBC, in a lovely bit of reporting, notes that he looks "fit", ""healthy", and has ditched the tracksuit in favour of a white shirt. Marvellous.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Labour's Hidden Agenda?

The answer must be NO otherwise there will be murder and TheEye may have to blog from gaol.

In the US, Senator Arlen Specter (called today - Sunday) for hearings to scrutinize a guide for veterans' end-of-life care which one former Bush official says sends a "hurry-up-and-die" message to injured troops.

From Fox: The guide, called "Your Life, Your Choices," was suspended under the Bush administration but has been revived under the current Department of Veterans Affairs.

Jim Towey, former director of the White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, said that the pamphlet makes injured veterans feel like a burden, encourages the severely injured to die and should be tossed out.

Asked about the document, Specter, a member of the Veterans' Affairs Committee, said it raises "a lot of questions" and that he would call for hearings immediately. "I think consideration ought to be given right now to suspending it pending hearings," said Specter, the Republican-turned-Democrat Senator for Pennsylvania.

Towey first wrote about the revival of the manual last week in The Wall Street Journal. "This is a slippery slope," he said Sunday. "When you look at the book it makes people feel like they're a burden and they should do the decent thing and die. ... When a veteran comes back from Iraq, they shouldn't be given a book like this."

Towey called the guide "fundamentally flawed" and said it should be pulled from the Web site.
But Tammy Duckworth, an injured veteran who is the assistant secretary for the Department of Veterans Affairs, said the manual is still under revision -- as stated in a disclaimer on the official Web site -- and has not officially been "reinstated."

She said it was one of many options for injured veterans, calling it "simply a tool." "This ultimately is about the ... health care for veterans," Duckworth said. Now if you think that sounds like political wriggling, just wait for the panic moment.

Though Duckworth said the document has not been fully vetted, an official directive from July tells Veterans' Affairs health practitioners to refer veterans to the document. Duckworth questioned whether that directive had been authorized at the highest levels. Questioned...authorized...ah, that sweet smell of a politicians sphincter opening as they realise they are in it deep.

Towey said the questions posed by the guide embed the suggestion that veterans who are suffering may want to choose death. One section titled, "What Makes Your Life Worth Living?," offers a checklist of scenarios -- the person filling out the form is asked to rate whether life would be worth living under each of them.

"I am a severe financial burden on my family," says one of them. "My situation causes severe emotional burden for my family," says another.

If this is how Obama treats his returning injured soldiers then for Chrissakes nobody show this to "Bob" Ainsworth.

England Triumphant - The Ashes Are Back!

Amid scenes of delirium unwitnessed in South London since the unforgettable summer of 2005, England's cricketers reclaimed the Ashes on a tumultuous fourth afternoon at The Oval, as Australia's brave resistance - led by a century of incredible mental fortitude from Michael Hussey - was unpicked, wicket by wicket, minute by minute, until, at 5.47pm, and with an expectant crowd willing on the moment of glory, Hussey prodded Graeme Swann to Alastair Cook at short leg to spark the celebrations into life.

At the moment of victory, all of England's players rushed into a huddle on the edge of the square - all except for one, that is. In his moment of Test retirement, Andrew Flintoff's first instinct was to seek out and console the crestfallen centurion Hussey, whose 121 from 263 balls had given his side a hope of salvation, but whose careless running between the wickets during a fraught afternoon session had been the single biggest factor in their demise. By calling for the single that led to the run-out of his captain and resistance-leader Ricky Ponting for 66, Hussey is unlikely to recall this particular innings with any fondness whatsoever.

Australia's 2-1 Ashes defeat has cost them their No. 1 spot in the ICC Test rankings. They have slipped to fourth, with South Africa now the No. 1 Test team in the world, followed by Sri Lanka and India.

It is the first time the Australians have lost their grip on the top spot since 2003, when the ICC introduced its current ranking system. The defeat has cost them eight points but despite the series result they remain ahead of their arch rivals England, who are in fifth place. England gained six points but are still 11 behind Australia.

What a series it has been. So many moments of individual brilliance, so many twists and turns, and such a close 2-1 result in the end. Now to look forward to the rematch in 2010-11!

Sack Kevan Jones

In the history of corrupt failing administrations, a dishonourable mention in dispatches will always be reserved for this current effort by the Labour Party. It's a relief that it won't go on for much longer. In the meantime, though, they seem to try every day to plumb new depths.

Kevan Jones, the Veterans Minister, has been outed by Guido as McDoom's attack dog in recent smears against General Sir Richard Dannatt. General Dannatt, leaving the Forces in 8 days time because his final promotion was blocked personally by McDoom has, as we all know, been targeted personally because of his repeated boat rocking about poor and inadequate equipment and supplies for our frontline troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Jones has a history of complaining about the hospitality which goes with the job at the most senior levels of the Forces and it was no surprise that the pathetic Ainsworth, one of the most useless Defence Secretaries in history, had to give him a written warning to back off from several FOI requests about possible claims for entertainment expenses. (As a further sign of weakness, as if not sacking Jones wasn't sign enough, Ainsworth sent the letter to all of his junior ministers as well to seem even-handed - laughable considering that the others are too stupid to run a smear campaign themselves.)

Entertainingly, the FOI requests showed that General Dannatt claimed a total of £19,291 between April 1, 2005, and March 31 this year in his previous post of Commander-in-Chief Land Forces and his current role as head of the Army. By comparison, Defence Secretary Robert "Bob" Ainsworth claimed £394,306 in Commons expenses from 2005 to 2008, the latest year for which figures are available. including the fitting of oak beams and pine doors, plus a £1,000 TV set, a £2,225 sofa and £2,000 to repoint part of the property. It is unclear if he claimed for wig hoovering.

Kevan Jones claimed Commons expenses totalling £454,324 from 2005 to 2008. His claims included a £23,083 allowance for a second home, £1,913 for carpeting but just £33 for cleaning and laundry which explains why nobody stands near him.

Well Jones is at it again - sending a FOI request in to find out if Gen Dannatt has claimed any expenses whilst supporting Help For Heroes. Now this blog supports HfH and would gladly assist them gratis which is what both HfH and Gen Dannatt himself say he has done. Sorry Kevan, but you're drawing a blank this time. Worse, you are dragging a great charity into your sordid campaign.

In an article full of "allegedly"s and "unknown"s to keep the ~~sharks~~ lawyers at bay, the Telegraph invite you to read between their lines and point the finger straight at the scumbag responsible:

But last week it emerged that a minister had discussed "chasing" Gen Dannatt over his expenses in an attempt to smear him. Requests were allegedly made under the FOI Act, with the backing of the unnamed minister, to find out the extent of entertaining by the general, who retires as Chief of the General Staff next week.

It was also alleged that a minister had called Gen Dannatt a "complete bastard" for making so many public statements critical of the resources given to the troops in Afghanistan.

The only bastard on display, Jones, is you. You are a disgrace and must go.

Typical EU Dim Thinking

Those of a certain era might associate stockpiling with the Cuban Missile Crisis, or the days when the unions would start a strike if the beer ran out in the workers canteen. This is not one of those occasions.

Instead, that insidious organisation determined to irritate us in every nook and cranny of our once-free lives has pulled another EU triumph...sitting in the dark.

From The Mail (and elsewhere): Traditional lightbulbs will disappear from our shops in just ten (eight) days.

All conventional pearl, incandescent lightbulbs are being banned by the European Union to slash energy bills and carbon dioxide emissions. Banning the jet engine would have a similar effect but then how would eco-nutjobs fly to their confrerences?

The move covers every type of frosted traditional bulb, from the 60 watt pearl bulbs used in table lamps to more specialised opaque 25 and 40 watt bulbs shaped like golf balls and candles. Clear and frosted 100 watt lightbulbs will also not be on sale from September 1

This story surfaced a long time ago and like most victims of EU stupidity it was trailed far enough in advance that we all grumbled, realised that it wasn't happening for a while and so simmered down and forgot about it. That's how the EU works. No, we aren't going to ban acres as a measurement just yet - you can have a 5 year exemption. Everyone forgets for 4 years 11 months until we suddenly remember we've been shafted, done nothing about it and notice that the Government has quietly slipped across to those heccy metric thingies already.

And just like most things EU-related, the new bulbs are crap too.

Critics said the light of many CFLs is inferior, some describing them as sickly, harsh or green. They can also take a minute to reach full brightness.

Manufacturers have also created low-energy halogen bulbs which look like traditional bulbs.

So when you are trying to find your way around the house in semi-darkness to find some candles, just remember that Al Gore will be pleased with you.

TheEye will be safe...a bulk purchase of bulbs from the local supermarket and a couple of shelves in the larder have seen seen to that.

A Back Street Mugging

Who remembers the EU budget meeting in 2005 when that nice Mr Blair went to give those nasty men in Brussels a firm talking to?

He went strongly demanding that the French please possibly accept opening talks about fiddling with the Common Agricultural Policy. Not 'reforming' it. Oh no. Not actually renegotiating it or Heaven forbid abolishing the scam...no...the deal was to accept the principle of starting to talk about it.

Finally the cost of this marvellous diplomacy has come out. In figures sneaked out last month just before the long Parliamentary holiday and only just number-crunched, our subscription fee to the EU goes up next year by 60%

Yes, for the privilege of being soaked like fools our annual shafting goes up from £4.1 billion this year to £6.4 billion next.

As The Telegraph notes: The latest Treasury figures also show that Britain is currently the second biggest net contributor, behind Germany. The new net UK contribution of £6.4 billion is the equivalent of £257 for every household in Britain – or 3p on the standard rate of income tax.

Britain's budget rebate – won by Margaret Thatcher in 1984 – is to shrink from £5.1 billion this year to £3.3 billion in 2010/11. The percentage increase in the net contribution between this year and next year is by far the biggest between any two years since 2003, according to the Treasury figures.

In 2003/4 Britain's net contribution was £3.2 billion, and in following years was at £3.9 billion, £4.4 billion, £3.5 billion, £4.2 billion and £3.0 billion before hitting £4.1 billion this year under current spending plans.

TheEye is just drooling at the prospect of keeping our money back where it belongs and spending it on what we want to spend it on. Doesn't matter what colour your rosette is - spend it on public sector non-job wages, big tax cuts, reductions in gin import duty or whatever - but spend our money here. Anyone who has ever driven in Spain will have been amazed by the quality of the motorways, although the scenic views are slightly marred by huge signs at the roadside every 20 yards emblazoned with the 12 stars and the phrase "Thanks UK, You Paid For This Road".

Before those EU negotiations in December 2005, Mr Blair said in Parliament that the "UK rebate will remain and we will not negotiate it away." However, at the European Council he gave away around 20 per cent – or £7.2 billion – of the rebate Britain would have received over the period 2007 to 2013. This rebate was specifically designed to compensate for the fact that the UK has a smaller farming sector than mort of the rest of the EU and, unlike the French, isn't very good at defrauding the CAP skillfully.

No wonder 26% of voters in the last EU election voted for parties wanting to leave. Wouldn't we be Better Off Out?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A Tangled Web

Always a blog willing to bask in the reflected glory of others, please join the other three co-conspirators on All Seeing Eye in congratulating David Vance on achieving two very creditable ratings on the Total Politics Annual Blog Poll 2009 for A Tangled Web.

5th place in Northern Ireland Blogs
23rd place in Non-Aligned Blogs

Well done David and his fellow conspirators over there. Please visit if you don't already!

The Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact 70 Years On

Seventy years ago tomorrow (Sunday), the Soviet Union signed a pact with Nazi Germany that gave dictator Josef Stalin a free hand to take over part of Poland and the Baltic states on the eve of World War II.

Most of the world now condemns the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, but Russia has recently mounted a new defence of the 1939 treaty as it seeks to restore some of its now-lost sphere of influence, and this has very interesting implications for Russia-watchers in the current climate.

The pact, formally a treaty of nonaggression, was signed 23rd August 1939, in Moscow by Vyacheslav Molotov and Joachim von Ribbentrop, the foreign ministers of the two countries. In addition to the pledge of nonaggression, the treaty included secret protocols that divided eastern Europe into German and Soviet spheres of influence.

On Sept. 1, Germany invaded Poland — thus igniting World War II — and within weeks the Red Army had marched in from the east. After claiming its part of Poland, the Soviet Union then annexed part of Finland, the Baltic states and the Romanian region that is now Moldova.

The Soviet Union officially denied the existence of the secret protocols for decades. They were only formally acknowledged and denounced in 1989. But as the 70th anniversary of the treaty has approached, some Russian historians, acting it seems as proxies of the current leadership, have stepped up to defend the Soviet Union's decision to expand its territory at the expense of its neighbours.

The Foreign Intelligence Service, once part of the KGB, recently published a book of declassified intelligence reports in an effort to make the case that the nonaggression treaty and its secret protocols were justified and essential to the victory over the Nazis. The idea was to move Soviet borders with Germany to the West to prevent the Baltic states of Lithuanian, Latvia and Estonia from becoming a staging ground for an attack. Even so, when Nazi Germany did attack in June 1941, all the territory the Soviet Union had gained was lost in a matter of weeks.

At the end of the war, however, U.S. and British leaders accepted the borders of the Soviet Union as defined by the treaty with Germany. This in effect restored the borders of the Russian Empire. The Allied leaders also allowed Stalin to extend the Soviet Union's sphere of influence throughout much of eastern and central Europe.

The current attempt to justify the carving up of Europe during World War II comes as Russia once again is trying to establish its sphere of influence.

After last year's conflict with Georgia, a U.S. ally, President Dmitry Medvedev asserted Russia's right to intervene militarily in what it regards as its zone of "privileged interests" along its borders. The war stripped Georgia of pieces of its territory, which are now under the control of Russian-backed separatists.

"In his understanding of Realpolitik, Vladimir Putin does not diverge from the line set by Josef Stalin," military analyst Alexander Golts wrote in the online Yezhednevny Zhurnal. "Military force decides everything and if there is an opportunity to grab a piece of someone else's territory then it should be taken."

Moscow has insisted it should have a dominating influence over countries that were once part of the Soviet Union. But Washington has continued to encourage the NATO ambitions of Georgia and Ukraine, and has made clear that it will accept no claims of a Russian sphere of influence over former Soviet republics that are now sovereign states.

Russians' defense of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact also is being used to bolster the Kremlin's push for the creation of a new collective security system to replace NATO, embracing all of Europe, the United States and Canada.

As Russia rearms and increasingly flexes its diplomatic and military muscles in the face of a weak leader in the White House then prepare to see further territorial skirmishes along Russia's borders and aggressive diplomatic moves overseas. The Monroe Doctrine has long been forgotten and on this anniversary take the opportunity to read between the lines of news stories and notice the Great Bear stirring again.

World Pirate Walk-The-Plank Championship

The trouble with posting on these it's-political-correctness-gone-mad or health'n'safety stories is that you begin to become immune to them. No matter how daft the pen-pusher, how blind to common sense the box ticker is, we have started to shrug at them.

That is the worst thing to do, because these things are insidious. They creep into everyday thinking and culture until you stop questioning them and think them normal. Then the lunatics have taken control of the asylum.

Take this event which happens tomorrow (Sunday), the World Pirate Walk The Plank Championship. The organisers were told to cancel the event by elf'n'safety weasels unless they could prove the sea water was clean enough for them to jump into.

Chemical analyst (and twice winning pirate) Michael Young took a sample of the sea water from the Queenborough Harbour on the Isle of Sheppey, Kent, and declared it safe for 'pirates' to walk the plank into. The Council then had the result verified by their own scientists - doubtless local taxpayers enjoyed this use of their cash.

Organiser of the event, a man known only as Captain Cutlass, confirmed: 'As a result of our own exhaustive tests the World Walking the Plank championships are still on for Sunday.' 'The plank-off starts at 2pm just before high tide.' and 'It infuriates me officials always come up with reasons why Britain can't have fun. It's time we fought back - which is what we pirates do best.'

The competition, which has been held for the last 12 years, judges 'pirates' on use of pirate language such as 'Avast' or 'Arrr Matey', original costume, execution of jump and overall star quality - dubbed the 'Aargh Factor'.

The event has to warn its contestants that they 'could get wet' as part of its insurance. Frightening if you needed to be told that. The Apocalypse is truly upon us.

Friday, August 21, 2009

The First Noel

While Britain basked in a mini-heatwave with temperatures of more than 90° F, council workers in Milnrow, Greater Manchester could be spotted driving around the town with a cherry-picker putting up Christmas decorations...on a Wednesday in August. A whole 127 days before the big day.

Why four months early? So that they can also be used in celebrations for a number of non-Christian faiths.

Rochdale Borough Council said that the lights will be used in celebrations for several faiths - starting with the Muslim festival of Eid on September 20 and carrying on through the Hindu festival of Diwali in October and the Jewish holiday of Hannukah in December.

It's a whole exciting new concept in religious illuminations timeshare.

The theory is slightly dented by the fact that most of the town's decorations are traditional Christmas symbols, including an Advent wreath, a giant Noel sign and a Father Christmas which hardly seem appropriate for other festivals.

Doubtless some PC box-ticker thinks that he's on a winner here by being "inclusive". Wouldn't it be amusing if a local Muslim cried waaaaaacism and started to sue the Council for hurt feelings and insulting his religion?

The Ashes Decider

With England all out for 332 and the Aussies 133-8 at tea on the 2nd day of the final Test, thoughts are turning to what the two teams might do to fill their spare time from about Sunday lunchtime onwards.

Faced with the prospect of watching England spend Sunday afternoon driving around Trafalgar Square on an open-topped replica of WG Grace's beard, Ricky Ponting has asked his Ashes opponents to consider batting with the stumps in this picture to give the tourists a chance.

England are expected to decline, but suggest a compromise of bowling underarm and wearing sponsored blindfolds to prolong the game.

Ponting will be allowed a wider bat in the second innings and also three 'lifelines': Ask The Barmy Army, 20:20 and Phone The JobCentre. England have promised to declare at only 10,000 for 2 in return for unlimited use of their opponents' team credit card for the hotel bar bill.

Don Bradman was unavailable for comment.

Wide Load, Brazilian Style

An outbreak of common sense with a hint of behind-the-hand chuckling comes from Brazil.

With all of the tact and subtlety of a whites-only swimming pool, the Metro in Sao Paulo have installed chairs specifically for the more rotund figure. They are blue instead of white and reinforced to withstand a dual-cheek payload of 550lbs.

Even better, and for the hard of thinking, they are located via a cartoon of a lardy chap with the unsubtle wording "Priority chair for obese people." This may explain why people are not using them...the embarrassment factor.

Being twice as large as standard seats, they are unlikely to ever be a feature of budget airlines who in their ruthless efforts to ~~bulk up your tickets on the extras~~ cut costs are contemplating doing away with seats altogether. They will also be ineffective against the other perennial curses of travel, The Screaming Brat and of course The Bloke With Broadsheet Fully Extended.

The chair itself comes with a built in chocolate vending machine and a Speak-Your-Weight device which just makes a giggling sound. Okay, so that last bit was made up.

Via the unmissable croatiantimes.com - your daily guide to weirdness.

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