Anzac Day

TheEye and St Crispin were on the G&T's for a decent percentage of yesterday and one-fingered blogging was just not practical afterwards. So TheEye is a day late recalling Anzac Day.

The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps were formed in 1915 and took part in one of Churchill's not-so-good ideas; liberating Gallipoli to open up the route to the Black Sea. This would have led to the capture of Istanbul and the toppling of Kemel Ataturk who had allied Turkey with Germany.

8,000 Australians and 2,700 New Zealanders died in that campaign and it became indelibly marked in the memories of those two countries - and many others.

The British war correspondent Ellis Asmead-Bartlett provided the first reports of the landing at Anzac Cove, published in Australia on 8th May 1915:

They waited neither for orders nor for the boats to reach the beach, but, springing out into the sea, they waded ashore, and, forming some sort of rough line, rushed straight on the flashes of the enemy’s rifles.

Ashmead-Bartlett's account of the soldiers was unashamedly heroic:

There has been no finer feat in this war than this sudden landing in the dark and the storming of the heights... General Birdwood told the writer that he couldn't sufficiently praise the courage, endurance and the soldierly qualities of the Colonials (The Australians) were happy because they had been tried for the first time and not found wanting.

Also in 1915, in response to the reporting of the efforts of the Australian troops, the Australia poet Banjo Paterson wrote "We're All Australians Now", including the verse:

The mettle that a race can show
Is proved with shot and steel,
And now we know what nations know
And feel what nations feel.

Australia had, obviously, only been an independent country for 13 years at this point.

The Anzac spirit was particularly popularised by Charles Bean, Australia's official war historian. From his publication Anzac to Amiens:

Anzac stood, and still stands, for reckless valor in a good cause, for enterprise, resourcefulness, fidelity, comradeship, and endurance that will never own defeat.

For the soldiers at Gallipoli, Bean wrote, life would not have been worth living if they had betrayed the ideal of "mateship". Despite the loss at Gallipoli, Australian and New Zealand soldiers were seen to have displayed great courage, endurance, initiative and discipline. The stereotype developed that the Anzac rejected unnecessary restrictions, possessed a sardonic sense of humour, was contemptuous of danger, and proved himself the equal of anyone on the battlefield.

For "breakfast" before the battle they drank coffee mixed with rum. St Crispin and TheEye will be doing the same thing this weekend in memorium.

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Wish I Was There

Perhaps next time the G.O.T. will be joining his co-conspiritors in spirits . . . .

. . . . rather than just being with them in spirit.

However, drink is still being taken here as I am sure it is being taken there.

Cheers!

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HMS Westminster Arrives In Gibraltar

TheEye had an email last night asking why Gibraltar was the chosen meeting place of the co-conspirators.

Well, HMS Westminster, a Type 23 frigate, arrived in the Naval Base yesterday morning. The ship will be the platform for the final element of the Principal Warfare Officers’ Course. The PWO course is a major career course for RN officers: it lasts for nine months and prepares officers for a role in which they co-ordinate a ship’s Operations Room and fight the ship on behalf of the Captain.

Earlier this years HMS Westminster was the star attraction at the London Boat Show. About 30,000 members of the public visited the ship which also hosted a number of receptions, dinners and charity events.

HMS Westminster will also take part in EXERCISE MED GUN, in which Naval Gunfire Liaison Officers will be parachuted into the sea close to the ship. Some of this training will be carried out in the Mediterranean and some in the Bay of Gibraltar. On Sunday and Monday, members of the Submarine Parachute Assistance Group will also be making use of this training opportunity.

St. Crispin will be making a nuisance of himself on board...also making the place look messy by running up and down The Rock to stay fit. TheEye will not be taking part in that part of the day.

So, David James, now you know.

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Is The RAF "Fit For Purpose"?

How as a country did we ever sink so far into this lice-infested hole of ineptitude and military mismanagement?

Via the splendid Croydonian and sourced from Hansard we learn that Dr. Liam Fox tabled the following question:

Dr. Fox: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence how many Royal Air Force aircraft of each type are (a) in service, (b) in the forward air fleet and (c) fit for purpose

Quentin Davies: ...."in service” has been taken to mean the effective fleet, which covers all aircraft barring those which are redundant, declared as surplus or awaiting disposal.

The number of aircraft in the forward fleet comprises aircraft which are serviceable and those which are short term unserviceable. Short term unserviceable aircraft are undergoing minor works, forward maintenance or any other unforeseen rectification work that can arise on a day-to-day basis. Serviceable aircraft available to the front-line commands for operational and training purposes are termed fit for purpose.

Well that isn't fudging anything, is it, sunshine? Quentin Davies, one of those interesting examples of a rat joining a sinking ship quotes figures of 790 RAF aircraft, which doubtless includes helicopters, the Queen's flight and the Red Arrows to nudge the numbers up. The Croydonian has crunched the figures and he arrives at 427 fit for service - 54%

The Croydonian further observes: "If tbe Typhoon and the Tornado F3 are taken as being the air superiority division, and our first line of defence against incoming bombers from the enemy du jour, just 49 of 122, or 40% are 'fit for purpose'."

Let's just hope that the Icelandic banks don't buy some second-hand MiGs and declare that it's pay-back time. He's worried that the French are in better shape than we are - and it's a fact that they are now have superior firepower to us in all three services. Luckily there's no chance of any return of a Spanish Armada. Spanish ships are built with glass bottoms nowadays so their current navy can see their previous navy.

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A Sign Of The Times

TheEye believes that everyone should achieve their own levels in life without discrimination...with no regard to religion, colour or sex (unless she's hot). Just ability.

Unless you are French of course, obviously.

So it's interesting that we read this from RugbyHeaven:

"The announcement of the Lions squad to tour South Africa was accompanied by a race row after a remark by former England coach Dick Best about Delon Armitage.

The black England back did not make the selection but was included in a Lions XV chosen by Best as part of the build-up coverage on satellite channel, Sky Sports News. Asked about his choice of Armitage, Best responded: "You've always got to have a coloured boy in the team."

Sky later apologised on air for the remark and said Best had thought he was off camera.

It's a sign of our times.

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Parish News: Beers In Gibraltar

St Crispin and TheEye regret that the G.O.T. can't join us for our Co-Conspirators' drink this weekend in Gibraltar. A few regular readers and several military types will also be in attendance so a reasonable level of alcohol consumption is likely.

Expect blogging to be slurred with only one-finger typing (if at all) on Sunday.

Any other readers who find themselves near this Parish are welcome to enjoy a stroll/stagger around the local hostelries with us. Just drop a note in the comments if you are around and we will update with details of our perambulations.

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Adam Boulton Sums It Up

The destruction of the economy and Darling/Brown's scorched earth policy designed entirely to cripple the next two Tory administrations is being done to death on every blog so TheEye will not comment pointlessly. It is being done more eloquently elsewhere. However listen to Adam Boulton live on Sky News.

He coughs but is definitely saying bullshit. (Not really of course, but it's a great joke and nicely done).

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A Timeless Spot

St C is currently enjoying the £0.73 a pint beer (Tim Taylors Landlord if you need ask) in the officers mess at RAF Uxbridge, home of the afformentioned 63 Squadron RAF Regiment (The Queens Colour Squadron). St C has a soft spot for The Queens Colour Squardon, as they are almost (but not quite) Soldiers!!

The sun has been shining today, and I finished work early enough to go for a run around the base. What a joy! This place is a little oasis of calm & beauty in the midst of an "not so great" area.
The base was home, to 11 Fighter group HQ during the Battle of Britain (probably the last great thing the RAF ever did), and the mess I am in is the same building that those pilot chappies would have sat in all those years ago (RAF Uxbridge has no runway, but Northolt is a mile or two away, and this place would have been a buzz of excitement & activity back then). It fair makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck!
I even found the entrance to the underground bunker that was the 11 Gp HQ during the height of the BoB.

Hillingdon house (in the grounds) is beautiful, and is reported to be haunted.

I am pleased to report that this government is treating this place with all the respect that it's history bestows on it, and is closing it to sell it on to developers so that (presumably) much more deserving people, like the low paid, unemployed, and asylum seakers can live in these beautiful grounds. I'm sure they will appreciate it as much as I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Non-sweary blog, non-sweary blog, non-sweary blog, non-sweary blog, non-sweary blog,

C&NTS

Yours ever.
St C.

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Este Vidrio No Es Limpio

TheEye enjoyed this graphic from the undefeatable G.O.T. who entertainingly and hopefully observes that Guido Fawkes is still hot on the trail of more Labour scalps. Tory Bear is also linked to from here but TheEye is a daily click to there anyway. Use the side-bar if you don't know his blog already.

For the part of the planet where TheEye currently lurks*, in the local lingo the phrase used as our post title means "this glass is not clean".

That is how TheEye views the political process at the moment. Dirty to the core. It needs a thorough deep cleansing with disinfectant or bleach...or acid. A General Election would do that.

*Still on the UK electoral roll and paying full UK taxes before anyone thinks that this particular co-conspirator on the blog shouldn't comment on UK issues. Merely enjoying some sun for a while. The golf is not improving though.

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Snouts In The Trough (1653 Edition)

It was on this very day in 1653 that a certain O. Cromwell dismissed the Rump Parliament. It can't be argued that most of the members were crooks and charlatans.

Oh, how times don't change.

Read his speech and ask yourself if you wouldn't want it to be given 356 years later on this anniversary.

"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money. Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess?

"Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth? Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!"

The only problem is that Cromwell led Great Britain's only military dictatorship and TheEye is nervous about the idea of St Crispin making it a second as our Head of State. Too much inclination just to shoot at things as a solution, really.

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British Serviceman Uses Afghanistan Leave To Run London Marathon

This was spotted in the Daily LabourGraph but, this being a blog with a military twist, it deserves another airing. We read:

"A British serviceman currently on active service in Afghanistan is to use his five days' leave in the UK to run the London Marathon.

Flt Lt Michael O'Hara is undertaking the gruelling 26 mile run to raise money for The Royal British Legion, which supports veterans of the conflict he is engaged in.

And while other marathon runners will be preparing for April 26 by jogging around their local park, Flt Lt O'Hara will do so by actively defending Kandahar Air Field in south-west Afghanistan from enemy fighters.

As Britain's main airbase in the country, Kandahar is even busier than London Gatwick and sees thousands of soldiers fly in daily as well as housing 12,000 multinational personnel.

Flt Lt O'Hara is one of the 144 members of the Queens Colour Squadron (63 Squadron RAF Regiment) who took over the task of guarding the base in February.

He decided to enrol in the marathon to celebrate his 30 years in the RAF Regiment, the ground fighting force of the RAF which protects the British Armed Forces' airbases around the world.

Explaining his decision to take part over email from Afghanistan, Flt Lt O'Hara wrote: "My time in the Armed Forces has made me aware of the important work the legion does for those whose lives have been damaged by the realities of war. It's great to have the opportunity to show my support for the work they do with the service community.

"I will be on my R&R from operations in Afghanistan but am looking forward to the challenge that the marathon offers. There won't be much time for relaxing, as I have to fly back to Afghanistan a couple of days later."

To sponsor Flt Lt O'Hara, visit www.britishlegion.org.uk or send a cheque to The Royal British Legion, Haig House, 199 Borough High Street, London SE1 1AA.

Whether St Crispin's boots may or may not have made contact with Afghan soil is not for TheEye to reveal but there is a cheque already in the post from here. He might be RAF but some of them appear to have a few redeeming features, St. C.

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The Telly-Tax Collects Another Victim

It is things like this which make the blood pressure hit unmeasurable levels and will regrettably require the ingestion of a glass of red wine to compensate.

"I’ve just watched my husband driven away in a police car. Not because he is a murderer, or a rapist or even a theif (sic) but because the T.V Licensing people decided to take him to court without informing him of that fact and getting him fined. Then, without telling him that he had been fined, they had a warrant issued for his arrest for non-payment of fines."

This is what happened the next day at the trial.

It's hard to remember that British justice was not only respected across the world but the Police were invited to train the Forces of new and emerging nations. That was before Labour politicised our once great Police Force, gave them Ian Blair and taught them to shoot at random swarthy-looking chappies in tube stations causing a Health and Safety incident due to acute lead poisoning.

News via Biased BBC (declaration of interest...TheEye is an active contributor there)

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Clear Your Throats And Shout

TheEye is feeling in a particularly subversive mood at the moment obviously. This whole article is reproduced from the Old Holborn site but give it a look and say what you think. (Sweary bits warning for those who still like a non-sweary environment on this side of the hedge)

"When I started this blog, a little over a year ago, I did so because I was sick of being censored on Internet Forums. I know I have a voice, I know my own mind, I know what I want and what I don't want.

I didn't think anyone would come but they did. OH now gets 3,000 readers a day, almost half of Guido's traffic before he decided to overthrow the State last week (he now gets 200,000 a day).

I wrote a post once calling Jackboot Jacqui a cunt. She is. And I said so. Because blogging allows me to.

If you look in our right hand bar, you will see a "feed-it" link that shows visitors to the Blog in real time. I was browsing this once and suddenly a weird visitor arrived.

Who the hell is " Meltwater"?

I did some research and it turns out that Meltwater are a "media" company PAID by Government (bold emphasis by TheEye) to trawl blogs and read what we say about them. Yup. Reports are written, results are handed back to people like McBride. I spoke to Guido and he confirmed my suspicions.

So what are you waiting for? 3,000 people a day visit us here. Start your own blogs, call Jacqui a cunt and that's 3000 more insults that Meltwater will have to report back to Jacqui.

Newspaper editors can be bought and won't publish letters calling Jacqui a cunt. The BBC won't allow you to call Jacqui a cunt on any TV show or phone in. You'll be arrested and DNA'ed if you write it on a wall or shout it outside Parliament. All of the mechanisms to protect Jacqui are in place.

Except YOUR voice. Here. On a blog. I dont care if you use our comments section to do it, or do it on your own blog. But do it. They are paying people to listen to what you are saying, so let's make sure they hear us loud and fucking clear.

60,000,000 of us
646 of them.

It costs not one penny to blog. Not one penny to leave a comment at Guidos, Dales, anywhere. And they ARE hearing your voice, even if they are not listening.

This is sound advice. Who are "Meltwater" to receive taxpayers cash to monitor blogs and send in monthy notes about how much Labour are hated? As a taxpayer is TheEye subsidising this? All canvassers have to do is knock on a few front doors or talk to rope salesmen and passing lamppost vendors. The voice of the people is growing and will not be silenced.

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Hislop v Portillo On The Blogosphere

Regular readers will know that TheEye detests the BBC and so Newsnight Review would only have been a watch if we were live-blogging it over on Biased-BBC in a state of fury. However this was so interesting that it merits a post. They were reviewing In The Loop and State of Play.

Michael Portillo and Ian Hislop go head to head and you've got to ask how they fell out so badly. Armando Iannucci gets a great review from Hislop and a slating from Portillo. Clemency Bishop-Hill, to be completely honest, would get it if TheEye had half a chance.

However about 15 mins into the programme, Ian Hislop attacks bloggers in general and Guido specifically over the McBride/Draper scandal. How hypocritical is that? Maybe it's because Guido beat Private Eye to the drop....or because he realises that his magazine (and others) are toast as we all now look to blogs for real news.

Never thought this would be typed on this blog but Newsnight Review on 17th April is actually worth a watch...if only to enjoy Hislop look like an idiot and also to have a letch at Clemency. Don't go beyound 22 mins as it descends into the usual retentive luvvie taxpayer-funded cant.

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This Week Belongs To Guido

It can't be argued that this week belongs to the blogosphere. One particular individual has created a storm and some very creative bloggers have smelt the blood in the water. Power is genuinely shifting towards the people. Strangely it was just this single image which summed it up for TheEye and if you haven't watched the film V for Vendetta then you should do so.

This artwork was spotted over at ToryBear, which should be one of your bookmarks. Unsure if it is his original work but if a more accurate hat-tip is required then put it in the comments please.

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The Met Have Form

As it's now illegal to take a photograph of a policeman then TheEye has used one of a group of Metropolitan riot police officers dressed as intimidating paramilitary anonymous and faceless thugs who are hitting somebody.

Oh.

This report from the Countryside Alliance makes for very interesting reading. Whatever you may think of foxhunting, just consider the disparity between the actions of the Met and the Sussex Police.

Here "The Countryside Alliance compares the Metropolitan Police’s handling of the G20 demonstration to that of our demonstration in Parliament Square on 15th September 2004. We were all shocked by the number and seriousness of injuries inflicted on demonstrators that day, and looking back, it is amazing that there were not more serious consequences.

We are the first to echo the view that policing these events is fraught with difficulty, yet exactly one week after this incident 20,000 of us demonstrated in Brighton at the Labour Party conference. Tensions were high and the opportunity for ‘flash points’ even more numerous than before, but this time with real anger added to the mix. Sussex Police handled the event to perfection. It was controlled and peaceful; there were no arrests and no injuries, which suggests a clear distinction between the attitude of rural and urban police officers.
What is most worrying is that despite a detailed investigation by the Independent Police Complaints Commission’s (IPCC) nothing much seems to have changed within the Metropolitan police.

20,000 demonstrators attended the Parliament Square demonstration, along with 1300 police officers. In the clashes that followed, 40 of our members received serious head injuries as a result of being hit on the head by police officers, against all instructions. There were 425 complaints to the IPCC and 31 officers received Regulation 9 notices. 17 officers had files passed to the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) for crimes varying from Common Assault to Actual Bodily Harm.

Just prior to the IPCC inquiry a Metropolitan Police press release claimed that 60 officers had been injured, and yet none of the local hospitals had any record of admissions or treating any officers, let alone 60 of them. The inquiry involved up to 17 people from the IPCC and took 14 months to report. Of the cases that went to the CPS, there were no convictions, and no disciplinary action was taken against any officer, including those who removed their ID, despite, as the report stated there being “clear examples of some officers ignoring this instruction."

Compare and contrast with what used to be called a Police "Force" and who were allowed to say "What's goin' on 'ere then, sunshine", give you a cuff around the ear and tell you to be on your way. They used to be known by everyone in the local community and actually solved real crimes committed by genuine wrongdoers against your elderly next-door neighbour.

Now they seem to randomly hit you over the head and cause you to die of internal bleeding (and then lie about it) for the crime of walking along a road with your hands in your pockets. This country is sinking fast, and desperately needs to be rid of this morally bankrupt administration.

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Internet Censorship: US Style

So, Barack Hussein Obama has been more busy than we thought he was. Not content with just recruiting the First Dog and beating reader LobbyDog to the first canine autobiography book deal, putting together the biggest socialist money-grab in history and losing a record number of Cabinet nominees through tax "issues" we have another.

Entertainingly he's also acquiring the legal right to "shut down the internet" whenever he is bored. Here at The Raw News although doubtless elsewhere.

"A recently proposed but little-noticed Senate bill would allow the federal government to shut down the Internet in times of declared emergency, and enables unprecedented federal oversight of private network administration. The bill's draft states that `the president may order a cybersecurity emergency and order the limitation or shutdown of Internet traffic' and would give the government ongoing access to `all relevant data concerning (critical infrastructure) networks without regard to any provision of law, regulation, rule, or policy restricting such access.'

Authored by Democratic Sen. Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia and Republican Olympia Snowe of Maine, the Cybersecurity Act of 2009 seeks to create a Cybersecurity Czar to centralize power now held by the Pentagon, National Security Agency, Department of Commerce and the Department of Homeland Security."

Accepted that pulling a few wires out in the US when Obama has a bad day and has been sent to sleep on the First Sofa would do serious damage to teh interweb but it is too resilient for one man to turn off any longer. Luckily.

First we had the Great Firewall Of China, then some Muslim countries began clamping down on access; then the EU came for us and now the USA. Where will it stop?

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Breaking News: Mexicans Are Short

Unfortunately you aren't allowed to say it in public. The expression "political correctness gone mad" is much overused and this would not qualify as more than being a bit antsy. However you'd guess that the ambassador had more important things to be attending to.

Who is dishing out the Ferrero Rocher?

We read (source is the Courier-Mail in Australia):

"Mexico is protesting what it says is a whopper of an insult after Burger King has run an advertisement featuring a spicy little Mexican wrestler.

An advertisement for Burger King's Texican Whopper burger that has run in Europe shows a small wrestler dressed in a cape resembling a Mexican flag. The wrestler teams up with a lanky American cowboy almost twice his height to illustrate the cross-border blend of flavours. "The taste of Texas with a little spicy Mexican," a narrator's voice says. The taller cowboy boosts the wrestler up to reach high shelves and helps clean tall windows, while the Mexican helps the cowboy open a jar.

Mexico's ambassador to Spain said on Monday he has written a letter to Burger King's offices in that nation objecting to the ad and asking that it be removed. Jorge Zermeno told Radio Formula that the ads "improperly use the stereotyped image of a Mexican".

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B Hussein Obama's Dog Has Written A Book

Barack Obama isn’t the only author in his family. The new First Dog, Bo, has his own book deal. I kid you not.

Mascot Books will publish Bo, America’s Commander in Leash, a children’s book, next week. Doubtless the Teleprompter Of The United States (TOTUS) will show B Hussein Obama some words him to repeat and for the BBC and CNN to fawn over. They will probably require drool-buckets near their cameras too.

According to the publisher’s website, the book will follow “Bo on an exciting adventure as he learns all about the White House and experiences the traditions that make it such a special place.” Ah, just watch 25 DVD's from Walmart instead, sunshine. It was enough for Gordoom.

According to Sky News, Mascot Books has been researching the book for two months, well before the Obamas had even settled on a dog, but even then, when your (non-Muslim) intitials are BO then how shoved up your rear sphincter do you need to be to name your dog after yourself? His head must be so far inserted that he can see out between his own front teeth.

Commander in Leash will feature “special appearance[s] by President Obama, Michelle Obama, Senator Ted Kennedy, and Vice President Joe Biden!” according to Mascot’s website. Or jugeared twat, opinionated twat, murdering twat and retarted twat as The G.O.T. might phrase it instead. Kennedy facilitated the Obamas' acquisition of Bo, as the Portuguese water dog came from the same breeder as Kennedy's.

Mary-Jo's family might well think that Kennedy's choice of a water dog was a tad untactful considering that he is a murdering bastard who is going to burn in the seventh ring of Dante's Inferno when we are finally rid of the scumbag. With a red-hot poker shoved....

...ooops, it's a non-sweary blog. Forgot that for a minute.

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Elves Haven't Left The Building

TheEye always enjoys beating The Croydonian to the drop with a decent survey result, and so is grinning at this one.

A ridiculous number of the denizens of Iceland believe in elves.

A University of Iceland poll found that, while few people will confess that they really believe in elves, 54 percent of the Icelandic population will not deny that they exist. Originally done in 2007 but only just published online.

Entertainingly "…Alcoa, Iceland’s largest aluminium company had to "defer to a government expert" in 2004 while scouring a potential site for a smelting plant to "certify that no elves were on or under it."

You couldn't make it up.

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GreenGate...The Resolution Tomorrow?

Sky News are reporting that tomorrow the Crown Prosecution Service is to announce its decision on whether to proceed with a case following the arrest of shadow immigration minister Damian Green last November.

A decision is expected to be made public at 11am.

Mr Green was arrested and his house and Commons office searched (without a warrant, lest we forget) as the police investigated leaks from the Home Office, reportedly coming from a civil servant,Christopher Galley, who had met with Damian Green on various occasions and passed on information which he felt was in the public interest.

As long ago as mid-December it was being reported that the case was set to be dropped, but there is at present no indication of what the CPS decision tomorrow will be.

Borrowed from CHome and Jonathan Isaby here.

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Obama Unveils Presidential Poodle

TheEye - this is a blog with three completely different contributors. That's what makes it an interesting place to drop by. Enjoy the G.O.T. in top form here...take it away, my friend....

This is a post by the G.O.T. which, of course, will mean it will be a tad sweary here and there.

Bollock Obummer officially announced the adoption of his new presidential poodle shortly after the recent G20 summit. Nicknamed 'Shitter', it is a rare Scottish Shitzyu breed which are renowned for being experts at burying things.

Although not fully house trained the Obummers are hoping that 'Shitter' will soon stop pissing everywhere once he gets used to the training pads. His other habit, of using his arse to smear shit on to anyone that upsets him, is thought to be due to some type of arrogant mental health problem coupled with a tendency to bark up the wrong tree.

Obummer says that he has consulted a British Lord about 'Shitter's' dirty habit and he advises him that a butt plug should cure this.

Although 'Shitter' only has one-eye, is grossly overweight due to his penchant for fois gras and also has anger management problems they are also hoping to employ an animal physcotherapist called O'Dollie D'Raper to assist with his all around well being.

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Miscellany (Part 94)

TheEye knows that an excellent cross-post from the G.O.T. is on the way and is sitting outside in the sunshine with the laptop and a better than average wireless link so is going to drop some gems from the Austrian Times before the G.O.T. rounds off the performance.

Racist Maths Book Fury

A primary school textbook has been rapped as racist for teaching children how to drown more Turks than Christians.

The Polish book asks youngsters to perform a calculation that would guarantee the death of the Turkish passengers on a sinking boat while saving as many Christians as possible.

Association Against Xenophobia chairman Jerzy Jedlicki said the textbook 'Maths Miniatures' would cause "hatred and discrimination."

Spruce Grows In Man's Lung

Astonished surgeons have removed a two-inch long fir tree growing inside a patient's lungs.

Doctors thought Artyom Sidorkin, 28, had cancer when he began coughing up blood and complaining of agonising chest pains.

But as they operated to remove a tumour the medics were amazed to discover the perfectly formed spruce thriving inside the lung.

"I blinked three times and thought I was seeing things," said surgeon Vladimir Kamashev at Izhevsk Hospital in Russia.

Doctors believe that Artyom breathed in a tiny seed which then began growing in his lung and that the sharp pains were the plant's needle-like leaves digging into his lung.

"It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me," he explained.

Cannibals Feed Off Brother For Six Months

Two sick cannibals have told how they feasted on the remains of their brother for six months as they tried to hide his murder.

The pair, identified by police only as Timur (28) and Marat (23) G., admitted killing their older brother Rafis and then eating him in the central Russian city of Perm.

Police grew suspicious when the brothers reported Rafis missing but were vague when asked to give details of him so they could start a search, the newspaper Tvoi Den reported today (Weds).

After raiding the brothers' house police discovered Rafis's skeleton that the cannibal pair had stripped of flesh and buried in the garden.

Fiend Timur said he ate his brother to hide the evidence because he couldn't face going back to prison where he had served 10 years for murdering his next door neighbour.

He said he blamed his brother Rafis for his last spell in jail after he reported him to police for the murder and started fighting with him. Marat had joined him and the pair had beaten him to death.

"We decided to eat him. I did not want to go back behind bars so we cut off his head and buried it and cut up the body parts and kept them in a refrigerator," Timur told police.

"We have been cooking and eating his meat for six months," he added.

Nice. Hopefully he doesn't work in the kitchen at J.D.Wetherspoons.

NOTE: All are exact and whole copies of the articles so feel free to check out the other nonsense there but these ones are complete.

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Disaster For The Cheeky Girls

In a never ending effort to promote pictures of women in skimpy clothes, TheEye finds the opportunity to reveal disaster for the Cheeky Girls. From the ever-essential Austrian Times:

It's the Cheeky Girls as you've never seen them - with all their clothes ON.

The sisters were forced to cover up for a traditional folk dance in Romania's version of Strictly Come Dancing on Sunday.

But Gabriela was in tears after being voted off the show.

Yesterday (Monday) the twins' angry mum Margareta Irimia attacked the judges for making her girls hide their biggest assets with ankle length skirts and baggy blouses.

"The girls's costumes handicapped them and completely ruined their dance," she snapped, claiming her daughter had been stitched up.

"They work for 10-12 hours a day rehearsing and the jury gives them bad grades. The competition is not fair. The girls are angry," she added.

The sisters are famous for their skimpy outfits that leave little to the imagination.

But sexier costumes flown into Romania by the Cheekies' mum are understood to have been banned by judges on the televised show for not being "traditional" enough.

Gabriela - an old flame of LibDem MP Lembit Opik - will now help coach her sister Monica who survived the vote.

"It was a great experience for me taking part in this show and I am really sorry at having to leave, but I'll be here with my heart for my sister Monica," she said.

Oh dear. Never mind. It was a good excuse to post a picture of some fit birds on the blog though.

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Labour Rigs Election Shocker

So Cherie Blair's mother has rigged her selection as a prospective snout-in-the trough MP by using made-up postal voters. Quelle sodding surprise.

Situation normal for Labour politicians, but probably the first time they've tried it in Calder Valley. It's the Labour establishment looking after its own.

Waving invisible banners proclaiming "Postal Votes Now," an enormous throng of imaginary voters rallied in Calder Valley last week to support the Booth candidacy.

"I want to thank everyone in the Imaginary Community for turning out for this great cause," said Mrs Booth, speaking on the steps of the town hall to a reportedly cheering crowd estimated at between 0 and 14 million. "For too long, the electoral roll has discriminated against people on the basis of their existential status, or perceived lack of appearance. That must stop. I promise you that when you elect me, imaginary voters everywhere will enjoy the same rights that they do in other Labour constituencies."

Legendary political analyst Fuller Sheet said the rally underlined the growing national political clout of imaginary postal voters.

"It used to be that Non-Existentials were mostly confined to a few constituencies and borough council elections, but we're seeing them more and more in opinion polls and elections around the country," said Fuller Sheet. "With dozens of public service non-jobs hanging in the balance, the Labour Party wants to make sure imaginary citizens don't get undercounted in the next election."

"It's just smart politics," added Sheet. "According to the final tally, Mrs Booth carried the imaginary vote by 346% to √-12%."

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RIP: Marilyn Chambers

Who remembers Marilyn Chambers? Oi, you at the back there, put that porno mag away and pay attention!

Porn icon Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her Los Angeles home Sunday night, but investigators do not suspect foul play, according to a Los Angeles County Sheriff's spokesman.

She began her career in 1970 as a model for Ivory Snow soap but starred two years later in the porn classic "Behind the Green Door."

"She was a really nice girl," said actor Ron Jeremy, who co-starred with Chambers in a few iffy films starting in the 1970s.

Chambers' death was a "total shock," Jeremy said, because they had been scheduled to sign a contract Monday to perform together in an off-Broadway "tongue-in-cheek" re-enactment of the classic "Deep Throat."

"What's strange is that she was at a stage where she was totally happy and totally content with her life," Jeremy said. "Her life was falling together, and she was doing really well."

A family member found her in the mobile home where she lived in the Canyon Country area and called police Sunday evening. The death appeared to be from natural causes, although toxicology tests have not been completed so you've got to wonder what she was taking.

Although her career was mostly in X-rated films, Chambers' fame was boosted by the irony that her face had graced the Ivory Snow box, a soap advertised as "99 and 44/100 percent pure."

Chambers eventually co-starred with all of the best-known porn actors of the 1970s and 1980s and must have boosted sales of Kleenex to teenagers by a staggering percentage.

TheEye in his infancy was blissfully unaware of such messiness at the time Marilyn was entertaining the crowd - although has caught up on the practical bits since.

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Final Score: SEALs-4 Pirates-0

A type of strange aquatic life which is not native to the coast of Somalia has helped Capt. Richard Phillips escape his pirate captives. He's now safe aboard the USS Bainbridge and reunited with the fellow crewmembers that he put his life on the line to save.

The pirates didn't do so well:

The American captain of a cargo ship held hostage by pirates jumped overboard from the lifeboat where he was being held, and U.S. Navy SEALs shot and killed three of his four captors, according to a senior U.S. official with knowledge of the situation.

You knew it was coming - you just wondered when.

Remaining pirates should immediately go on a remedial flag identification course and learn the difference between the US flag and the flag of Panama.
Luckily someone typed a few phrases into B Hussein Obamas teleprompter (TOTUS) and so he was able to repeat some speechwriter's tribute to Phillips. But would our politicians have the spine to authorise the Royal Navy to conduct a similar action, or would they be too busy cooking up false stories about David Cameron having an STD or mythical photographs of George Osborne in female underwear?

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Give Guido A Statue

TheEye continues to not wish to blog on 'Smeargate' as it's being done excellently elsewhere already, but spotted this over on FlyingWarPigs and it raised a smile. Even more of a smile came via Iain Dale who quotes Labour blogger 'Recess Monkey' as saying "It's not been a good week for the Tories".

Ha! If that's a genuine quote then 'Recess Monkey' should put down the proverbial crack pipe and open a window to disperse the fumes. Apart from in his own constituency the only people who have ever voted for Gordoom have been some odd students when he was at university. Give us an election and let the people speak.

This whole nasty scandal, though, comes as no surprise to those who have fought campaigns against LibDems. It's been their speciality for years.

Other interesting questions arise though. Athough McBride was a civil servant on our taxpayer payroll he was doing Labour Party work and so should have been sacked outright for misconduct. By resigning he's bound to get a (taxpayer-funded) payoff on his contract. How much? A years salary? Six months? Who is going to be the first to put in an FOI request to find out?

One final observation...it's going to be a very ugly General Election if the last few days and weeks are any indication.

Right. Enough on Smeargate. Probably.

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www.compare-the-smear-twats.com

TheEye had no intention of blogging on the McBride/Draper/Watson/Gordoom affair as it is being extensively covered on every blog (except Labour-supporting ones, natch). However this offering from the G.O.T. just couldn't go past without sharing. Better resolution when you click on the image.

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World Economy Doomed: Poll O' The Day

This should disturb us - it certainly scares TheEye. It shows you how effective the indoctrination of Armerican children has been over the last few decades. Don't forget the radical students of 1969 are the tenured Ivy League professors and lecturers of 2009.

Only 53% of American adults believe capitalism is better than socialism.

"The latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey found that 20% disagree and say socialism is better. Twenty-seven percent (27%) are not sure which is better.

Adults under 30 are essentially evenly divided: 37% prefer capitalism, 33% socialism, and 30% are undecided. Thirty-somethings are a bit more supportive of the free-enterprise approach with 49% for capitalism and 26% for socialism. Adults over 40 strongly favor capitalism, and just 13% of those older Americans believe socialism is better.

Investors by a 5-to-1 margin choose capitalism. As for those who do not invest, 40% say capitalism is better while 25% prefer socialism."

As you'll note, the older someone is, the more likely they are to understand what socialism is and how it is inferior to captialism. The under 30 crowd, with no wisdom and little practical experience outside of academia - not to mention having not yet completly traded their utopian fantasies for the best practical system which has been shown to work - have a large group who either believe socialism is better or just aren't with it enough to have an opinion.

Once past 30, and having put a few years under their belt in the real world, suddenly the utopian scales begin to fall from their eyes and they have a bit of an epiphany. As for those over 40 being so strongly for capitalism, most of them remember the old USSR and how well socialism worked there.

As you might imagine, there's an ideological divide as well:
"There is a partisan gap as well. Republicans - by an 11-to-1 margin - favor capitalism. Democrats are much more closely divided: Just 39% say capitalism is better while 30% prefer socialism. As for those not affiliated with either major political party, 48% say capitalism is best, and 21% opt for socialism."

Compare the results above to a poll taken in December of 2008:

"As the incoming Obama administration and the Democratic congressional leadership scramble for ways to right the U.S. economy, 70% of U.S. voters say a free market is better than one managed by the government.

Just 15% say a government-managed economy is best, according to a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey. Fifteen percent (15%) are undecided."
In the intervening months, what system and what players has B Hussein Obama's administration continually demonised? Capitalism.

If the septics have lost the plot as well as Gordoom then we're all in more trouble than we can possibly imagine.

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The Jewish Festival Of The Creation Of Light

Occasionally TheEye retreats into parochial mood and observes life on the doorstep. If you aren't interested then move on the the next post.

According to the celestial calculations of a Talmudic sage named Shmuel, at the outset of spring every 28 years, Jews believe that the sun moves into the same place in the sky at the same time and on the same day of the week as it did when God made it. They hold this moment sacred and this rare occasion, which of course most Jews will only see once or twice in their lives, leads to great gathering and the recitation of a one-line blessing of God, “who makes the work of creation.”

The astronomical metrics of Shmuel are by now considered inexact, but close enough so that the religious tradition persists. In Gibraltar, members of the Jewish community marked the occasion yesterday and the picture shows hundreds gathered in Catalan Bay.

TheEye is certainly not Jewish but hopes that our readers might win a pub quiz by a single point by knowing about "Shmuel" and therefore will owe us a beer. This is an educational blog.

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French MP's In Backbone Shocker

In an unbelievable outbreak of libertarianism and sense from a portion of our EU enemies we learn that French MP's have today voted against a law which would have allowed law enforcement agencies to cut off the internet connections of file-sharers.

Jacqui "I'll pay for the Kleenex, darling" Smith will be cursing that the UK wasn't the first government in the world to try to set up an agency specifically to track down and punish file-sharers but with this French "Non" vote we've still got a chance to sneak in there as No1. We need to as we aren't keeping up with our monthly tractor production statistics when it comes to more insecure Big Brother databases and big IT contract fees.

The lower house of parliament in France passed this law last week but most members of the upper house have obviously taken a long Easter weekend and turnout was sparse. The vote was 21-15 against.

Just think...a database to spy on your file-sharing habits. It'd never catch on here, surely?

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Screwing The Taxpayer: Aussie Style

We think that three homes and an 88p bathplug are grounds for snouts-in-the-trough accusations. How about snouts-in...hmm move on from that.

Australian Labor MP for New South Wales and ex-union leader Craig Thomson seems to have stolen about AUS$100,000 from that union to pay for two hookers, time spent in a brothel...and his election campaign.

From the Australian Age (a Sydney Morning Herald story) we learn:

..."Previously unreleased documents show that officials of the Health Services Union have concluded that credit cards issued to Mr Thomson and other union resources were used for spending on his 2007 campaign for the NSW seat of Dobell.

Mr Thomson, 44, was the union’s national secretary from 2002 to 2007, and is now chairman of the House of Representatives economics committee.

Officials concluded that Mr Thomson’s union Commonwealth credit card was used to withdraw cash advances totalling $101,533 over five years.

The documents also suggest a Commonwealth MasterCard in Mr Thomson’s name was used for payments to operators of a brothel and two escort services as well as numerous payments to restaurants and bars and for personal items."...

Mr Jacqui Smith only used their card to buy a couple of movies and some Kleenex. Maybe if he has indeed as rumoured been banished to the sofa he should be taking notes from our Aussie cousins. With his left hand, of course.

TheEye is grateful to learn that the payments in question were:
* A payment of $330 in February 2003 to Aboutoun Catering of North Sydney, which is listed in the Yellow Pages as an escort service.
* Two payments of $570 and $2475 in 2003 and 2005 to ‘‘Keywed Pty Ltd Restaurant’’ in Surry Hills, a company listed on the internet as the payee for clients of the Sydney Outcalls Network, an escort agency.
* A payment of $418 in June 2005 to Nolta Pty Ltd, a company that South Sydney City Council records show operates Tiffanys brothel in Surry Hills.

This of course now saves TheEye from having to look through the phonebook or ask the hotel receptionist for discreet advice when next visting New South Wales.

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Expensesgate: The Way Forward?

London Assembly Member James Cleverly has an interesting take on how to limit the expense claims for a sink-plunger for an MP's 9th house which is really owned by their second cousin twice-removed. It's worth reproducing in full as well as the link. Remember that James is a serving TA officer as well which gives him this military slant on the issue:

Why not just give them quarters?

Yet more bad news about MPs housing allowances!

"I completely understand that MPs need to have a base in or near their constituencies and many also need a place in or near central London. Politicians do work funny hours and a regular commute isn't always feasible. But why are they expected to find their own accommodation?

Members of the armed forces get moved around the world on a fairly regular basis. An army officer could be based on Germany for a few years, then across to Tidworth (Hampshire) for a bit, up to Glasgow, a stint in London at the MOD, back to Germany etc. It is regarded as part of the job. Single soldiers live in barracks and married soldiers live in married quarters. The Army understands that the job means geographic displacement and acts accordingly.

If it's good enough for our brave boys it should be good enough for our MPs.

I think that parliament should buy up a number of flats near to central London, 500 should do the trick. There are developments going up in Chelsea, Battersea, etc which most people would give their right arm for. They can be of mixed size to cover everything from single MPs to those who want to base their family in London, the block could have centralised security and be fitted with a secure IT and comms system.

MPs will be allocated a flat when they get voted in and hand it back when they get voted out. Easy.

It might be a bitter financial pill to swallow in the short term but would clean up the system and help to restore confidence in the financial integrity of our MPs."

This chimes in with a recent suggestion elsewhere to use the Olympic Village (with its obvious built-in security features) after the event for exactly this purpose. TheEye can't remember where that suggestion came from but will try to track it down and update the post.

James, as usual, is talking good common sense.

UPDATE: Found the other suggestion by CHome's Jonathan Isaby:

Should MPs be housed in London's Olympic Village?

I'm not sure I'm entirely persuaded by this idea, but here's an ingenious contribution to the debate about what to do with MPs' second home allowances.

It comes from Ian McCord, a Conservative councillor in South Northamptonshire, who has come up with the proposal and set up this petition on the Number Ten website to promote it.

He says that the MPs' second home allowance should be abolished and that the accommodation being built for athletes in the 2012 Olympic Village in east London should be converted (presumably after the Olympics?) into living accommodation for MPs with constituencies to which they cannot commute.

Cllr McCord makes the point that the apartments in the Olympic Village will doubtless be subject to the most stringent of security - which would obviously be a particular consideration if all MPs are being housed in the same place.

I remember meeting a Swedish MP a few years ago who said that this was exactly what happened in Stockholm: all the MPs had access to rooms in a university-style hall of residence in the city. Apparently the late-night parties on the roof terrace were riotous!

Okay, so maybe the party thing might become a tabloid free-for-all but the theory is there.

Frankly TheEye would prefer 646 lampposts and a lot of rope but keeping them all living in the same place might make it easier when the time comes.

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Plant Pot Is An Elf'N'Safety Risk

Why do we tolerate this sort of nonsense? Why do we put up with it? Why can't we get these people up close and personal with rope and lampposts?

Diana Angel left out a sack of rubbish with a plastic plant pot and a broken dustpan and brush only to find it ripped open and left behind. She was sent a letter telling her it constituted "bulky waste" and she would have to pay £30 to have it taken away. Understandably she complained to Colchester Council, a Lib Dem/Labour coalition.

Cllr Tim Young, a Labour councillor and the Cabinet Member for Waste, says the items "were considered a hazard" and "it might have been dangerous for the refuse collectors to take them away."

In the words of Cllr Harry Phibbs, "He's just become a spokesman for the council officers, hasn't he? He's been swallowed whole. He's not really in control. This is what he should have said": "I'm very sorry, Mrs Angel. What happened was absurd. I have given instructions that this sort of incident should never happen again."

No surprise or irony to be taken, of course, from the fact that the Labour council has a Cabinet Member for Waste. After all, Gordoom has a whole government of them.

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Take A Swing At Gordoom

The World of Golf in New Malden has come up with a fantastic way of helping golfers to improve their aim: it has set up a target of the the one-eyed snot-gobbling Prime Mentalist on their driving range.

Originally seen on the Standard's website, apparently day-on-day golf ball usage is now up by 20% since they put it up as target practice.

There's also a target of Alistair "Badger Eyebrows" Darling on the driving range too although TheEye, who has swung a club or two in the past, knows which target the first wave of his 9-iron would be directed towards.

Might even just walk up to the target and smash it with a sand wedge in pure fury anyway...skip the effort of trying to hit it with a ball (although TheEye would back his chances from a distance on one of his rare sober-ish days).

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...But Carry A Big Stick

A decade ago, TheEye was invited aboard the USS Enterprise (the aircraft carrier, not the starship) and had a most excellent although dry dinner in the wardroom. Luckily was pre-armed with a hipflask. It dropped anchor in The Solent...the stretch of water between the Isle of Wight and Portsmouth....because it was too large to go through the narrow entrance to Portsmouth harbour and berth in the RN Dockyard inside.

So it was with interest that TheEye noticed that Pete Moore over at ATW has taken a photo yesterday of the USS Theodore Roosevelt which is currently moored in exactly the same position right now.

Even the battleship USS Iowa made it inside the harbour (just) so TheEye only had to make it up a gangplank to take a look around that one.

You would be stunned by the staggering magnitude of the creation of what is effectively a floating town. Thousands of sailors and airmen in a metal box with its own shops, cinemas and decks of black ghettos where white officers never tread. It's like New York but without the imitation Oirish bars and the Noraid tin-rattlers.

You don't want to get on the wrong end of those bits of real-estate. Pity the Royal Navy only has three canoes and a shared life-jacket these days.

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The Obamessiah Invents A New Language

Love'im or loathe'im, President Bush made a verbal gaffe or two. In todays intense media scrutiny of every cough or hesitation by a politician on television this will only increase. The MSM jumped on Bush for not remembering the name of the then President of Pakistan and replayed the clip at every opportunity. Bush trying to open a locked door on a state visit to China was replayed endlessly, but if you watched the U.S. news of the clip of Obama trying to walk though a White House window...blink and you would miss it. John Redwood never recovered from trying to sing the Welsh anthem and failing to get the lip-sync right. You could argue that it cost one of the most talented economists in Parliament the rest of his career.

But let's just guess that B Hussein Obama inventing "Austrian" as a language will never see the light of day in the U.S. media.



Question: Sonja Sagmeister from a little country, Austria, from Austrian Television. Mr. President, you said you came here to learn and to listen. So a quite personal question -- what did you learn from your personal talk with the European leaders? And did this change in a certain way your views on Europe and its politics?

OBAMA: It's an interesting question ..... It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian -- wheeling and dealing -- and, you know, people are pursuing their interests, and everybody has their own particular issues and their own particular politics.

This is a very mild example of TheOne not being able to cope without a teleprompter - there are many others. His teleprompter even has it's own blog. The media need to apply a level playing field on this. If you are going to lampoon a politician then hold TheOne to the same level of contempt dished out by the liberal media to Bush or Redwood and many others.

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Pub Quiz Question On Politics

What do the following men have in common - apart from being ex-Prime Ministers obviously:

• Lord North
• John Russell, 1st Earl Russell
• Benjamin Disraeli
• William Gladstone
• Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury
• William Gladstone
• Archibald Primrose, 5th Earl of Rosebery
• Stanley Baldwin
• Ramsay MacDonald
• James Callaghan

Clue: TheEye wants to see Gordoom join the list.

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It Must Have Been A Great Curry

Have you ever met a Russian with a sense of humour? No, TheEye hasn't either...but it turns out that they do exist.

Pravda brings us news that the statue of Lenin which stands outside of the Finnish Railway Station in St. Petersburg has been vandalised. It happened at 4a.m. on April 1st which always makes you suspicious of news articles running on that date, but the Associated Press are running with it too and none of the pics on Pradva appear to be Photoshopped either.

..."The power of the bomb was equal to 300 grams of TNT, experts said. The police are now trying to identify the man who placed the explosive device on the backside of the monument....

"The monument to Vladimir Lenin near St. Petersburg’s Finnish Railway Station was already vandalized at the end of November. Someone mounted a large knife in the hand of the monument for no particular reason.

"The monument was erected in 1926 in honor of Lenin’s return to the city after emigration on April 3, 1917. The monument was not damaged in the Leningrad Blockade during WWII. People made a wooden box for the monument, filled the box with sand and covered the pedestal with soil".

The problem with Pravda is that it is rather like the Austrian Times...the genuine stories are often so stupid that you'd never bother to even attempt spotting an April Fool.

One recent classic was published by Pravda on the 26th March so we are definitely safe from scams on that one. Just not safe from ridiculous nonsense.

Jesus Christ's Face Appears On Broken Meterorite

Yes. Really.

"Russian scientists noticed the image of Jesus Christ on the meteorite which fell down on the Earth about 100 years ago. The image is identical to the one that appears on the Shroud of Turin.

"The meteorite cracked into two as it rammed into the planet in the Far East of Russia. The image of Jesus Christ’s face can be seen on the split. The meteorite was dubbed Boguslavka, after the village where it had been found. The face of Jesus Christ on the meteorite is just the same as on the Shroud of Turin, the linen cloth bearing the image of a man who appears to have been physically traumatized in a manner consistent with crucifixion. It is kept in the royal chapel of the Cathedral of Saint John the Baptist in Turin, Italy. It is believed by many to be the cloth placed on Jesus of Nazareth at the time of his burial.

"The meteorite is now kept at the Moscow-based Geological Museum"

Make of that steaming pile of...nonsense...what you will. They almost make the BBC look professional.

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It Was A Bright Cold Day In April....in 1984

On the 4th of April 25 years ago, it was, famously, a bright cold day.

George Orwell wasn't writing a instruction manual for ZaNuLabour, it was/is a warning.

If you haven't got it then get a copy, read it and pass it on to spread the message.

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly through the glass doors of Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him....

April 4th, 1984.

For whom, it suddenly occurred to him to wonder, was he writing this diary? For the future, for the unborn. His mind hovered for a moment round the doubtful date on the page, and then fetched up with a bump against the Newspeak word doublethink. For the first time the magnitude of what he had undertaken came home to him. How could you communicate with the future? It was of its nature impossible. Either the future would resemble the present, in which case it would not listen to him: or it would be different from it, and his predicament would be meaningless.

For some time he sat gazing stupidly at the paper. The telescreen had changed over to strident military music. It was curious that he seemed not merely to have lost the power of expressing himself, but even to have forgotten what it was that he had originally intended to say. For weeks past he had been making ready for this moment, and it had never crossed his mind that anything would be needed except courage. The actual writing would be easy."

The whole book is online here. Set 25 years ago 'today' it seemed then like a flight of fantasy. Now it is becoming a horrible reality. It's only bloggers who are holding back the tide at the moment.

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Heroes And Zeroes

For exactly 250 posts now, TheEye and his co-conspirators St Crispin and the GrumpyOldTwat have been randomly spreading military stuff, political opinion and random nonsense with all of the enthusiasm of a Rwandan soldier who has just won 2 minutes on a trolley-dash in a machete shop.

To mark this milestone, TheEye asked the G.O.T. to put together a video which hat-tips our soldiers and puts our snouts-in-the-trough politicians up against them. This is the result and it is excellent. Not 100% Safe For Work but 100% worth watching.

Hopefully you will all continue to patronise this establishment...but it is 250 up and the G.O.T. has done it for us in style. Take a few minutes out of your day to think of our servicemen and also the families who are missing them.

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British Army Hands over control to ........ The US ??

Perhaps I'm reading this wrong. If our job in Iraq is done, and a famous victory has been won for the loss of only 179 British lives, why are we not handing over to the Iraqis? Hmmm St C is very confused.
I've served there 3 times now, and have a fair grasp of the situation. Basically, in 2003, the baddies were reeling from our invasion. Then they regained strength and influence over the 2004-2005 period, but we were still able to travel about the regions bringing a small level of security & protection to the locals. This was a small window of hope for the locals (and the last as it turned out). Then the British expanded the Afghanistan operation, and the Iraq mission was doomed to fail from that moment on as we are too small a military to do two medium scale operations simultaneously (despite the fact that we are mandated to). When I last went in 2007 we were hunkered down in our bases taking it like men. The locals knew we were on our way out, and were lobbing rockets at us with gay abandon.
Like the politicians the Mahdi army SCIRI et al knew that
a. Brown had no stomach for a fight.
b. There was an election looming in the UK
c. That Brown's pet "Africa project" would need some resources at some point.
They knew that all these factors would lead to our withdrawal, and lo..... they were right.
They won, we lost. Nice. Sorry Mrs. Gentle.

St C

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EU: All Your Base Are Belong To Us

This gets so spectacularly on TheEye's nerves that random physical violence against passing tourists is possible.

A report commissioned by the European Parliament wants bases like Gibraltar, Cyprus and the Falklands operating under EU flags as part of the "European Security and Defence Policy".

It says: “Member states of the EU would benefit from placing their overseas military installations and maritime power at the crux of ESDP”.

Bases belonging to Britain need to be “Europeanised” as part of an “EU Grand Strategy” so that the EU could “match the growing military might of Asian navies”.

What the *nonswearyblognonswearyblognonswearyblog* dratting thingy (reasonable recovery) does this have to do with those *argh why don't we make this a sweary blog*'s in Brussels?

Over to Shadow Defence Secretary Liam Fox who is actually a pretty decent cove and should have had more of a chance in the last Tory leadership election...“This talk of a grand strategy betrays the real intentions of the European Commission.

“At a time when Nato is more overstretched than ever before, the idea that we might turn our military bases over to the EU, for projects the British people have never given their assent to, is a twisted fantasy.”

St Crispin, who educates servicemen in the art of firing big guns at things, may not be impressed with this idea either...but Dr. Liam Fox doesn't have the same capability to drop 4.5inch shells from a Type42 destroyer on the heads of our EU enemies as St C does.

Random Link: AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs

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